The Donkey’s Ass

Anti-abortion protesters rallied outside the Pepsi Center yesterday, giving Denver just a taste of what’s going to hit this town next August, when the Democratic National Convention convenes here. The city got another preview earlier this month, when CEDIA (Custom Electronic Design & Installation Association) filled the Colorado Convention Center…

Delegating Denver #9 of 56: Delaware

View larger image Delaware Total Number of Delegates: 23 Pledged: 15 Unpledged: 8 How to Recognize a Delaware Delegate: The Quakers who ruled Pennsylvania originally wanted to annex Delaware to expand Philadelphia’s southern suburbs, but the Catholics in Maryland refused to let them. While these two states bickered, the Methodists…

Delegating Denver #8 of 56: Connecticut

View larger image. Connecticut Total Number of Delegates: 61 Pledged: 48 Unpledged: 13 How to Recognize a Connecticut Delegate: Prepare to be astonished. Despite the gender-specific clothing worn by delegates from Connecticut, their facial and physical features are absolutely gender-neutral. Connecticut men look just like Connecticut women, and vice versa!…

Delegating Denver #7 of 56: Colorado

View larger image. Colorado Total Number of Delegates: 71 Pledged: 55 Unpledged: 16 How to Recognize a Colorado Delegate: Colorado delegates are hard to see, especially if they’re standing behind a streetlight or a trash can, because Colorado residents tend to be thinner than the average American. Most will boast…

Delegating Denver #6 of 56: California

View larger image. California Total Number of Delegates: 441 Pledged: 370 Unpledged: 71 How to Recognize a California Delegate: If the United States of America was a high school and the residents of each state represented a different clique, Californians would be considered the “cool kids,” and California’s Democratic delegates…

Howard Dean v. The World’s Largest Rubberband Ball

Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean blew into Denver mid-day Wednesday to kick off the one-year countdown to the Democratic National Convention. He stood on the sweltering concrete outside the Pepsi Center, along with Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper and Gov. Bill Ritter to pump up hundreds of party loyalists, thank…

Dems Come Out Swinging!

With Howard Dean in town today to start the one-year countdown to the 2008 Democratic National Convention, I can finally reveal the secret that swung the DNC in this city’s direction: Swingers…

Chile Today, Hot Tomorrow

“When the Democrats finally get around to staging their national convention here next summer, they’ll discover an emerging dining scene long on diversity, short on superstar candidates and eager to shed its reputation as a culinary backwater.” That’s how Jerry Shriver starts his piece “Denver scales new epicurean heights” that…

Delegating Denver #5 of 56: Arkansas

Arkansas View larger image. Total Number of Delegates: 47 Pledged: 35 Unpledged: 12 How to Recognize an Arkansas Delegate: Arkansas is the birthplace of Wal-Mart, and the huge discount retailer plays an important role in Razorback chic. Wal-Mart is where Arkansans go to buy their new T-shirts and camouflage pants…

Burn, Baby, Burn

Congressman Tom Tancredo’s fourth-place finish in last Saturday’s Iowa Straw Poll indicates that some people are actually taking him seriously as a candidate – and not just in this country. A few days earlier, protesters in Lahore, Pakistan, burned Tancredo in effigy, right alongside smoldering dummies of President George W…

GOP of the Heap

On Monday, Karl Rove – once described as President George Bush’s “political Svengali, Robespierre and wizard all rolled into one” – took himself out of the political picture. For now. Rove had come a long way for a kid who was born in Denver and spent much of his childhood…

Delegating Denver #4 of 56: Arizona

Arizona View larger image. Total Number of Delegates: 67 Pledged: 56 Unpledged: 11 How to Recognize an Arizona Delegate: The Arizona Look is famous the world over. Just start with a pair of the definitive two-buckle, slip-on “Arizona” style of Birkenstock sandals and a pair of Arizona jeans from J.C…

Left Behind: Republicans Need Not Apply

Now there’s one more perk to voting Democrat: a discount on your paint job. Patrick Nesvadba, a.k.a. “Patrick the Painter,” taped this sign to a LoDo lamppost recently, advertising 10 percent off to left-leaning folks. “I think it sounds like a good idea to put your money where your mouth…

Delegating Denver #3 of 56: American Somoa

Click here for larger image. Total Number of Delegates: 9 Pledged: 3 Unpledged: 6 How to Recognize an American Samoan Delegate: As Pacific Islanders, American Samoans look like Hawaiians, only a lot more “gangsta.” Their traditional nave-to-knee body tattoo (pe’a) is inked with a pig’s tooth attached to a drumstick…

Cowtown Wowtown

Get ready for your close-up, Denver! A few weeks ago, a Tonight show crew came through town, gathering footage for a segment that will air tonight, a preview of what delegates can expect when they come to town a year from now for the Democratic National Convention. The piece features…

Delegating Denver #2 of 56: Alaska

Alaska Click here to see a larger image. Total Number of Delegates: 18 Pledged: 13 Unpledged: 5 How to Recognize an Alaska Delegate: Outdoorsy Alaskans are as easy to spot as a pair of paint-splattered tan Timberland boots! Their distinctive look is typically centered around disheveled denim — whether it…

Delegating Denver #1 of 56: Alabama

Alabama Click here for larger image. Total number of Delegates: 60 Pledged: 52 Unpledged: 8 How to Recognize an Alabama Delegate: Alabamians are masters at mixing and matching fashion styles, and are often noted for the vast number of separates that they wear in surprising combination. Their style is fostered…