Dear Mexican: I’m not Mexican (or from a Spanish-speaking country), but I get mad when the gabachos in my town say that all Mexican girls do is take drugs and get pregnant, drop out of school and end up on welfare. I know a lot of Mexican women who haven’t…
Dear Mexican: I think I have a Mexican problem. In short, I have a home in sunny California on a property with an abundance of agave cactus and Century plants growing along the street. Every year for the past twenty years, five to ten cactus leaves (three to four feet…
Dear Mexican: I was today alerted to the problem of trash dumped on the Sonoran Desert in Arizona and am trying to track down more articles about the issue. That is how I found you. There are lots and lots of piles of trash — looks like clothes — in a…
Dear Readers: Wish I could say I was back on the rancho, but you know how that drug war of ours (both Mexican and American) is going, so the Mexican decided to stay home for the holidays for the first time in decades. Besides, there’s too much work at mano…
Gustavo Arellano and Tom Tancredo met on the Su Teatro stage in November for a far-reaching discussion of immigration. At its conclusion, Arellano invited Tancredo to pen a guest column for the April 1 Ask a Mexican; in the meantime, the former congressman has offered this: Last month I participated…
Dear Mexican: I live in a moderately fancy-ass suburb of Dallas, am super-white and make decent money. Naturally, I have a Mexican gardener/lawn dude who works his ass off, has fourteen brothers and sisters in Guanajuato, employs all his relatives, etc. He also has a sweet wife and three little…
Dear Mexican: Someone wrote you a while back wondering why Mexicans have made a mess of their beautiful country. You got all bent out of shape because he called Mexico a Third World country instead of a “bottom tier” First World country. I think you missed the point of the…
Dear Mexican: Why can AeroMexico Airlines fly through any kind of weather conditions to get to and from the United States, but any kind of little ice sprinkle or heavy wind, and domestic airlines in the U.S. cancel two days’ worth of flights? For two consecutive winters, I’ve had Chicago-to-Houston-to-Leon,…
Dear Mexican: This güero downloaded the Arizona SB 1070 bill, did a search on the document for “Mexicans,” and did not come up with a single hit. What’s up with that? Since you are such an acknowledged expert at pointing out Mexican-hating here in the American Southwest (your words, not…
Dear Mexican: I am a mutt. My father’s father was an illegal immigrant from Mexico. My mother’s father was an illegal immigrant from Ireland. My surname is Mexican and is usually mispronounced by gabachos and pendejos alike. I look more Irish than Mexican. And as my father never spoke it…
Dear Mexican: I’m thinking of moving to Mexico. I’m a first-generation mexicano. My parents are absolutely against it, insisting that it’s violent and that I should be proud of being an American. I’m not looking to lose my American-ness; I just want to add some more mexicano to it. Is…
Dear Mexican: I’m totally serious about my e-mail, so please forgive me if my question sounds ridiculous. I also mean no insult to anyone about my question or questions in this e-mail. There are a lot of antsy/jittery people along the United States’ southern border. Lots of those antsy people…
Dear Mexican: I was a history major at the University of Arizona in Tucson, which I believe was part of the Gadsden Purchase, the last piece of old Mexico the U.S. “acquired.” That got me thinking: What was the citizenship status of all Mexicans/gringos who lived in parts of Mexico…
Dear Mexican: I’m not the type to let things slide when I see something that strikes me as ignorant, no matter who it is. When my friend’s mom posted jokes on Facebook about Mexicans and her friends popped up with comments I felt were racist, I just had to step…
Dear Mexican: What is it with the Mexican hangup on body parts? When General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna was struck by a cannonball at the knee in one of his 8,000 wars, his right leg was removed from the knee down. When he returned to Mexico City, he ordered…
Dear Mexican: Mexico is truly an amazing, beautiful country! Huge oil reserves, mineral deposits second to none, tourist potential unparalleled! God gave Mexico every possible advantage. And yet the Mexicans, in all their wisdom and intellect, have turned it into a backwater, undeveloped, narco-ruled Third World cesspool of corruption and poverty. How were…
Dear Mexican: I understand that NYC isn’t your jurisdiction, but maybe you have some insight, or maybe this is also a problem for other smart and successful Latinas. My question is: Why is it so hard to find an educated Mexican — or hell, even a Latino man — who…
Dear Mexican: What punishment could America give that would finally make crossing America’s borders — repeatedly — unpalatable to Mexicans, when even Mexican natives admit that it is at least as harmful to Mexico as it is to America, and the “needless paperwork” in our immigration process is to try…
Dear Mexican: I work at a large hotel in Orange County where 80 percent of the employees are Latin American, primarily Mexican. I love all of them and enjoy working with them. However, the one thing that bothers me is that when they are speaking to each other, they only…
Dear Readers: ¡VIVA MÉXICO, CABRONES! Happy 200th cumpleaños to America’s favorite country, to the land of pretty señoritas and eternal economic crises, to the world’s greatest, drunkest bola de hijos de la chingada! When you celebrate on September 16, drive safe. And guys: Remember to wear a helmet before going…
Dear Mexican: I’m a naturalized citizen born in Ciudad Juárez (the most dangerous city in the world, thanks to the drug cartels), but I work for la migra. I get a lot of shit from some of my family members because they feel I shouldn’t be doing this job. I…
Dear Mexican: Oye, I’m a Mexican con un pie aquí y un pie allá, and I have to admit that it is difficult to be a Mexican these days. I’d like to make the argument that it is one of the worst times ever to be a Mexican. I even…
