Dear Mexican: You once asked why Mexican bands don’t hit it big in the good old U.S. of A. I think the simple answer is that there are no Mexican Mouseketeers. You don’t get to be Justin Timberlake by picking a guitarrón. Slater from Saved by the Bell doesn’t count…
Dear Mexican: I write to you with a doubt similar to the one that Incensed in Chicago felt a couple of weeks ago, when her friend couldn’t believe that Mexicans worked in professional, white-collar jobs. I live in Tijuana, and of the gabachos who put roots here, you can’t find…
Dear Mexican: I was riding the local light rail when two female Mexicans sat down and started talking rapid-fire Spanish non-stop for 45 minutes! It seemed as if neither one stopped to take a breath of air. They were loud and could be heard the length of the train. Question:…
Dear Mexican: I am a Chicano in Connecticut. I moved from Arizona to the East Coast for my dream job. I have to admit that I’m still homesick. Connecticut is a completely different world. To sum it up in one phrase, vale madre. It took a while for me to…
Dear Mexican: Can you please confirm the fact that there are doctors, lawyers and other professionals living in Mexico? I’m a Mexican-American woman living in Chicago who had a heated discussion about that topic. My friend who is a teacher at a local school was of the opinion that there…
Dear Mexican: My wife and I have an argument going about pirates. And since you are the source for all things Mexican, I’d thought I’d ask: While I know there were Spanish and Portuguese pirates back in the early 1600s and 1700s, were there ever any Mexican pirates? Not pirates…
Dear Mexican: My wife is from Michoacán state. We’ve bought a home in the small town of her birth. I love everything about the quiet little place. Even her mother is kind to me, as if I were her son. The food is incredibly good. The puerco is killed that…
Dear Mexican: Is it true that most Mexicans are carriers of the swine flu due to the fact they eat a lot of chicharrones, or is it the fact that your women are so pig-like? I knew that Mexicans have muy shitty diets, but now we have to worry about…
Dear Readers: As you drinko por Cinco on May 5, please hold on to this column listing songs that mariachis will gladly play instead of having to glumly strum through the umpteenth “La Bamba” and “Guantanamera.” The following eclectic choices (and reasoning) came from hundreds of suggestions submitted by wabs…
Dear Mexican: First of all, please don’t think that I’m a self-loathing Mexican; I was born in the U.S. to northern Mexican parents. As far as I know, my ancestry is just Indian, Spanish and a little French. For some strange reason, I have developed an intense fascination — and…
Dear Mexican: In an earlier column, you mentioned that conservatives can’t have an argument against illegal immigration without it degenerating into a diatribe against culture. Here’s an argument that has nothing to do with culture. In California, we now have a severe water shortage. I work for a municipal water…
Dear Mexican: For as long as I can remember, Mexicans were known for doing three things: Drinking lots of cerveza, having lots of niños, and saying “¡Ay, caramba!” While I can vouch for the first two, I’ve never, ever personally heard a Mexican utter those famous two words. Is this…
Dear Mexican: Why are Mexicans so proud of the brutality of their police force? They seem to glamorize it in all their music and telenovelas. Batons Are Bats, or Super Oracles Dear BABOSO: I’ll let you know when Dirty Harry, Detective Sipowicz, Chief Wiggum and the producers of COPS get…
Dear Mexican: Why is it that when I go to the Mexican supermarkets to buy productos femeninas, fully 98 percent of the aisle provided for such things is composed of maxipads, and the limited selection of tampons are in dusty boxes with a sell-by date of 1986? I assume it…
Dear Mexican: Not sure if this has been asked before, but how do you feel about Arizona’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio? I think the guy’s a fucking racist who’s just out to get Mexicans to fulfill his racist agenda. He’s been relevant lately due to the protests in Arizona against Section…
Dear Readers: Many of ustedes offered alternate meanings to the Mexican Spanish vulgarity pinche, beyond “cooking assistant” and “fucking in the adverbial sense.” From our Puerto Rican brothers: In Puerto Rico, pinche is simply the term used for a wooden clothespin. There is no negative connotation of the word on…
Dear Mexican: I believe that the words people use to describe other people, intentionally or unintentionally, reflect their political values. But I want to give you the benefit of the doubt. You described César Chávez as hating “illegals” in a previous column, and as being ethnocentric early in his career…
Dear Mexican: What is the deal with Mexican denial when it comes to dealing with child sexual abuse? I know counselors who tell me that it’s a big problem trying to get Mexican families to admit and confront this. In my own experience, I have seen my Mexican relatives be…
Dear Mexican: I have a question from one Mexican to another: Why do gabachos think we know everything about plants? During conversations with the estadounidenses, I will get asked about plants, pruning, how to keep roses alive, etc. I understand many of my compatriotas working over here are gardeners (and…
Dear Mexican: I can’t tell you how disappointed I’ve been these past few days, as a U.S. citizen and ciudadano mexicano, seeing more and more stories about los narcos and how the Mexican government keeps getting screwed over in newspapers. I think you should dedicate a whole article in your…
Dear Mexican: I am a naturalized (legal) hispano in the U.S., and I just realized what the “illegal” craze is about. What immigrant-bashing citizens are trying to protect here are people like…me. Consider what this concerned woman said to John McCain during a public meeting in New Hampshire last year…
Dear Mexican: Mi hermano y yo tenemos un dispute. We all know that Mexicans love their bistec sliced muy thin, but why? My brother is adamant that the diet of free-range vacas mexicanas results in tough meat, necessitating a thin slice for easy mastication. I think the reason is purely…
