Dear Mexican: I am a butt-white Irish guy, stoked to be married to a beautiful Chicana. Her familia is from a gorgeous rancho deep in the corazón of Zacatecas, and I’ve been wanting to experience all of the ranchero lifestyle I keep hearing about from my acquired familia mexicana. However,…
Dear Mexican: I have questions about the TSA, my most hated useless government agency. I heard that the TSA does illegal ICE dragnets at airports to catch illegal aliens. I get pulled aside for “special screening” every single time I fly, and it is infuriating. Does getting targeted by the…
Dear Mexican: I work in one of those progressive companies. Most of the gabacho bosses are actually pretty cool…at least when your back isn’t turned. There are a few a-holes, pero there will always be a few; they’ve got gigs lined up in talk radio. Sabes que — what drives…
Dear Mexican: How do we humanize the illegals in this country? My reasons for asking this question are many, but mainly a very personal one. I’ve been in this country illegally for sixteen years. For sixteen years, I’ve lived my life like anyone else: going to school and working. Eventually…
Dear Mexican: One of my pet peeves is Latinos who pronounce their last names with Anglo accents. For example, Rod-driguez instead of Roh-driguez. Would love it if you address this. Personally, I believe we Latinos should educate Anglos on correct pronunciation. Gomez the Groper Dear Wab: Before you start correcting…
Dear Readers: Since it’s the end of the year and the Mexican is on his eighteenth tamal (made by the mujeres in his family, of course), behold some letters from angry readers (and one fan), along with my answers. Enjoy your champurrado, gracias for a great 2013, and may your…
Dear Readers: Behold your favorite Mexican’s annual Christmas gift guide, where I give shout-outs to some of my favorite books that deserve your money this holiday season! And for once, I won’t recommend my books — ¡Ask a Mexican!, Orange County: A Personal History, and Taco USA: How Mexican Food…
Dear Mexican: You mocked and didn’t answer the legitimate questions raised in a letter to you a couple of weeks ago, about the guy who didn’t see a rosy future for a Mexican-led America. The writer correctly referred to serious problems in the Hispanic community such as poor academic performance…
Dear Mexican: I find myself at odds with my peers because I don’t like coffee or coffee drinks. I need to find a substitute beverage that will be tasty yet somehow hip. I’ve heard that Mexicans have magical chocolate drinks called atole, champurrado and chocolate, but I don’t know what…
Dear Mexican: My father and mother were able to come to the United States because once the “yellow scare” was over, no one seemed to mind that Chinese were coming here by the boatload. Since my parents were given visas and green cards pretty easily, my father was able to…
Dear Mexican: Long time reader, first-time writer about this noble Aztlán. I watched the Brown Pride marches of the early 1970s and heard the shouts of La Raza and how it was going to be different now that the “Chicano” had arrived. The Mexicans were going to change things for…
Dear Mexican: Could it really be possible for a terrorist to sneak into the U.S. through the southern border, or is that just more fear-mongering from the conservatives? Not Crazy about Quds Dear Gabacho: Of course it’s possible, but we’re really not going to know until we find out, right?…
Dear Mexican: I’m a pocha immigration attorney. I have so many questions for you that I’m thinking I should just hire you as a consultant. Why do Mexicans seem to want me to lie to them, steal their money, and tell them they can become residents even when it’s hopeless?…
Dear Mexican: My home town of El Paso is getting a new AAA baseball team. The owning group just announced the name: The El Paso Chihuahuas. Reasons given? The origins of the dog and the city’s location in the Chihuahua desert, and that it was family-friendly. Many in this city…
Dear Mexican: I was surprised, on a trip to Mexico earlier this month, to find the holiday referred to as just “Día de Muertos,” whereas in the States, I’ve only heard it referred to as “Día de los Muertos.” I’m curious as to why there’s a difference north/south of the…
Dear Mexican: My wife and I are looking to buy our first house. Being young (-ish) and hip (-ish), we’re looking into buying in Santa Ana. It’s amazing how much house and land you can get for $350K compared to the two-bedroom stacked crackerboxes in south OC. My question is…
Dear Readers: The Mexican is taking the week off because his home paper is preparing its fantabulous Best Of issue. (Download the Best Of app, por favor, which also gets you access to my sister papers!) Behold, then, an oldie-but-goodie column that Art Laboe would approve of. Enjoy! Dear Mexican:…
Dear Mexican: I’m a Mexican-American Catholic who is really upset about something I saw after Mass last night. As I waited for my son to come out of Confirmation class (I had already attended Mass myself), I noticed a grocery cart parked by a curb. It was odd, because it…
Dear Mexican: With the current state and federal prison systems spitting out even harder criminals due to overcrowding and gang activity allowed to a certain degree by the ‘system,’ and considering the small percentage of inmates who actually make it out and live a positive life, why have some legislators,…
Dear Mexican: Can I “Ask a Mexican” why El Tri sucks so much? And why a little stadium in Columbus, Ohio, was louder and more passionate than Estadio Azteca in Mexico City, which seats over 100,000? Can I also ask why a country that lives and breathes soccer/fútbol always freaks…
Dear Mexican: I have a Mexican friend at work, and we happened to get in a discussion that started off fine, but I believe that I offended her as the discussion progressed. We were talking about an upcoming Cinco de Mayo celebration, and I asked if she knew the true…
Dear Mexican: I have read (the usual suspects and a few Know Nothings) that illegals can say a few magic words to get temporary, pending-review asylum status. The reports say the illegals can claim asylum from drug gangs. My understanding is that fear of crime in one’s home country has…
