Dear Mexican: In 1983 or 1984, I was walking home down Haight Street in San Francisco one evening and stopped into Watusi Records to look through the dollar cutout bin. I flipped through it for a bit and then stopped dead when I saw the Jonny Chingas Pachuco LP. I…
Dear Mexican: Can you please tell me something? How do you think it’s fair that all the people who come to our country and stay get treated far better than some of the people who have busted their butt all their lives here? Tell me, how is that fair?! You…
Dear Mexican: What is it about Mexicans and collecting old cars? I have three Mexican neighbors with middle-class incomes, but in each case, when the old car or truck wouldn’t run anymore, they would buy a nearly new replacement and then just let the old clunker sit in the driveway…
Dear Mexican: My wife (who’s a half-Mexican L.A. native, just so you don’t think we’re a couple of white hipster dickheads) and me (I’m white, but an immigrant, so I hope that lowers my dickhead factor a little) have had it up to our orejas with our Hispanic neighbor’s music…
Dear Mexican: Many of my friends think I’m loco for playing with my dad the way I do. See, mi padre is now retired and living in Mexico, and is very worried that I am now thirty and not married yet, so he wants me to go back to where…
Dear Readers: Behold your favorite Mexican’s annual Christmas gift guide, where I give shout-outs to some of my favorite books that deserve your money this holiday season! And for once I won’t recommend my books — ¡Ask a Mexican!, Orange County: A Personal History and Taco USA: How Mexican Food…
Dear Mexican: Why is it that many Mexican women hate on me for having an Asian (Korean, to be exact) novia? I notice this in a lot of places. We go to the store and I get looks. We go to the movies and people look or say things like…
Dear Mexican: In President Bush’s State of the Union address, he reiterated a need for a guest-worker program. What is your opinion of such a program? The program seems like mierda that screws people over in the long run to me, but what do I know? Una Guerita por un…
Dear Mexican: My granddaughters were born and raised in Georgia, as was their father. Their knowledge of their culture is zero, and I have tried to educate them by talking to them and even writing a book of my life growing up in New Mexico that discusses the history, lifestyle…
Dear Mexican: Lately I’ve noticed a few bands, como Voodoo Glow Skulls, have embraced ska music both at home and in Mexico. I was curious what the appeal is for Mexicans in ska music. Also, if you had to turn people to Mexican ska, what would be your top five…
Dear Mexican: When are the racial minorities going to give up la causa? We have a black man for el presidente, and as a white middle-aged male, I couldn’t be happier. I have been hearing all of my life about how oppressed the racial minorities have been and what needs…
Dear Mexican: After a year in Spain, I speak more-than-decent Spanish, and I want to get a job in the non-profit field, where I can put it to use and pursue social justice and all that. Thing is, my Spanish is pretty peninsular. I maintained my seseo, thank God, but…
Dear Mexican: Why is it that every Mexican I know refuses to eat chocolate? My in-laws drink things I wouldn’t clean my carburetor in. They fill their piñatas with every kind of hard candy — but no chocolate! I bring out a bag of M&Ms and everyone backs away to…
Dear Mexican: As a college-educated Mexican-American, I had my fair share of Chicanas in college…all of whom my jefita considered putas with books. But now that I’ve graduated, I’m going out with a gabacha for the first time. She’s nice — bilingual, tall, skinny, educated, and a liberal with liberal…
Dear Readers: The Mexican must take the week off because his home paper is publishing its annual Best Of issue (if the devil ever condemns you to visit Orange County, pick up the OC Weekly!). To honor our Best Of, here’s a doozy from 2006. If you’ve ever heard me…
Dear Mexican: Why do so many Chicanos claim to be Aztec? Chicano Stuck in Leavenworth Dear Gabacho: You’re right. The beaner love for everything Aztec mostly stems from the Chicano movement, which appropriated various Mexican iconography (the stylized United Farm Workers black eagle, the concept of Aztlán, the airbrushed paintings…
Dear Mexican: Hey, mojado, since when do you think it’s okay to fuck up the facts of your wretched culture and concentrate on the few who have done something with their lives? For the most part, Mexicans are perverted, short, dark, little disgusting animals. You fit into that category. They…
Dear Mexican: Why do gabachos always feel the need to talk about money or trips they have taken? I always notice this when I am at any restaurant, like they don’t have nada más de que hablar. They make a point to speak loudly for everybody to hear…especially if there…
Dear Mexican: Is it just me, or has what to call our friends from south of the border become a partisan issue? While taking in both political conventions over the last couple of weeks, I’ve noticed that Republicans invariably use the word “Hispanics,” while Democrats are far more likely to say “Latino/a.”…
Dear Mexican: One of your readers wrote a question about “DREAMers,” and I have a thought on the subject. This is not a criticism, although I have criticized your column before. I know that most Hispanics in the United States are in favor of the DREAM Act, but what if…
Dear Mexican: What is the reason for the colors of the Mexican flag? Is there any razón it resembles the Italian flag, minus the águila y serpiente? Conozco más mexicanos que estadounidenses, pero none of mis ‘manitos morenos seem to know why… El Girafe Dear Male Giraffe Gabacho: Good for you…
Dear Mexican: I was in a taco shop in the bathroom stall and saw your racist dribble in La Prensa San Diego (the paper was being used as ass-wipe, I guess). Whatever you say or write will always be foreshadowed by the fact that you and all the dark-skinned Mexis…
