“We have seen mood swings in the media from highs to lows to highs and back again, sometimes in a single 24-hour period,” said Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld last Friday, doing a mean imitation of Dr. Phil as he kicked off that morning’s press briefing before a roomful of…
In Denver, no one’s separated by six degrees. Two, maybe. The connections are so close that back East, pollsters and political consultants marvel — and mourn over — Denver’s coziness. It’s Mayberry, they say. So when Ari Zavaras’s campaign dared to ask some negative questions about specific mayoral candidates –…
Not long after Brandy Duvall was murdered by a gang of Bloods in May 1997, a wooden cross appeared by U.S. Highway 6 mile marker 269.5, just above the riverbank where the fourteen-year-old girl, handcuffed and stabbed 28 times, had tried to climb to safety. Through the seasons, the cross…
Will the last one to leave City Hall please turn out the lights? In these fiscally strapped times, there’s no reason to waste pennies on useless utilities. And besides, it’s only appropriate that Denver’s next mayor be left in the dark. The men and women who would be mayor are…
No one lit a candle to mark the one-year anniversary of Denver’s world-class fiasco — but plenty of people are still feeling burned. On January 31, 2002, John Oglesby, then-director of parking management for the city, pronounced that in keeping with Denver’s status as a “world-class city,” the Department of…
The sad parade keeps passing through the Colorado Legislature. College administrators losing departments, towns losing road projects, cancer patients losing critical treatments. It’s death by a thousand cuts. But the sorriest sight to date were the downtrodden developers, fresh from the biggest year in the history of homebuilding, now appealing…
As the only newspaper in town dedicated to printing the uncensored truth — every juicy, titillating, squirm-inducing, profane word of it — we eagerly awaited the moment when the 570 hot, hot office e-mails between Arapahoe County Clerk Tracy Baker (one of our 2002 Hall of Shame honorees) and his…
Merry Christmas, Mayor Webb. In the mail you’ll find a check for $40 to cover the two parking tickets I picked up last week — my gift from city employees eager to make up Denver’s revenue shortfall. One was delivered at 9:05 a.m. (my meeting ran ten minutes past a…
Last January, Denver considered itself such a “world-class” city that John Oglesby, director of the parking management division, announced an ambitious scheme to boost revenues by adding parking meters, raising rates and extending meter hours from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. seven days a week — in keeping with Denver’s…
I am not a hugger. In fact, I am hugging-impaired. I come from a long line of women who, in photographs, stand identically, crossing our arms in a clear “no-trespassing” sign. I am working on this, but not particularly effectively. “You have an aversion, a reluctance to hug,” notes one…
The last time the big guns of the National Rifle Association came to town, the blood spilled at Columbine was barely dry. Mayor Wellington Webb had urged the group to cancel its annual convention set for Denver in early May 1999, and when the NRA came anyway, Governor Bill Owens…
You don’t need to listen to Congress’s only veterinarian to realize that all of the muck being thrown around in Colorado’s race for the U.S. Senate is nothing but manure. According to pollster Floyd Ciruli, voters are so turned off by the mud being flung in the multimillion-dollar media campaigns…
First Denver introduced Johns TV, the Channel 8 show featuring the least attractive supporting cast ever seen on television. Now it’s gone and prohibited frequent bedding changes. If it weren’t for the fact that the same Denver Water list banning promiscuous sheet-washing also rules out “washing impervious surfaces (sidewalks, driveways,…
On Sunday, Qwest Communications International announced that it will erase close to a billion bucks in alleged revenue from its books in an attempt to satisfy not just investors, but congressional investigators currently grilling company executives. A billion bucks, gone like that. But Qwest can take some consolation in the…
The Denver Police Department is the gang that couldn’t file straight. Its intelligence bureau should be renamed The Stupidity Bureau. Six months after the American Civil Liberties Union stumbled upon the existence of the DPD’s secret surveillance records of citizens — the so-called “spy files” — the bureau still can’t…
When I moved to Denver, some of the town’s top cops were tooling around in Caddys provided by Elvis Presley, the about-to-burn-out star to whom they’d provided not just security, but honorary police status, complete with badge and uniform. The Denver Police Department was just a decade removed from its…
On September 3, you can learn whether you’re on the city’s most exclusive list: a roster of people and organizations in the Denver Police Department’s intelligence files. Some of those on Denver’s second most exclusive list — the cast of characters considering a run for Denver mayor in 2003 –…
Last month, State Farm sent a memo to its Colorado agents and employees. The subject was Alan Prendergast’s June 27 Westword story, “Hidden Damage,” which followed the insurance travails of Sunserea McClelland — and the trial that resulted in her winning a $1.8 million jury verdict against State Farm in…
Around the Fourth of July, Alison “Sunny” Maynard opened a letter from the Independence Institute. “Congratulations on your candidacy!” think tank president Jon Caldara told the Green Party candidate for Colorado attorney general. “To assist you in learning about the many issues facing Colorado, you are invited to a ‘Candidates’…
The biggest danger we face this July Fourth is not illegal fireworks, not the terrorist threat, but a menace even now confronting us at picnics and in parks across this sweltering city. The lost boys. Those elusive private parts intent on escaping the confines of men’s shorts and going so…
“In the name of Allah,” begins the handwritten pleading filed in U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia on April 26, “I, slave of Allah, Zacarias Moussaoui, by self representation for every rational vital reasons set in the memorandum accompanying this motion, move for immediate order directing that…
Last year, Rick Ashton, the director of the Denver Public Library, strongly suggested that all 500 DPL employees read Who Moved My Cheese?, the still-chart-topping, still completely inane business book that describes how two littlepeople, Hem and Haw, follow mice in their hunt for cheese, and in the process learn…
