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I’m a hopeless romantic and my one true love is food — so when it betrays me, I am especially hurt. On Monday I ambled into my local Whole Foods (which is the equivalent of a candy addict going into a candy store or a porn addict into a porn store), eagerly surveyed its wonderful products, and chose some of the 365 Everyday bacon (the store brand).
Unfortunately, I accidentally bought the low-sodium bacon, which I didn’t realize until about twenty minutes ago.
I’d opened the bacon the day I bought it and it seemed fine, but when I reopened the package today, it smelled kind of like ammonia and was browning around the sides. Bacon, even if it’s low sodium, should last a few weeks – that’s one of the Ten Food Commandments. And this had only been three days!
I’m a college student, though, and unless there’s enough mold on something to make it look like an active ecological society, I will not throw it out. But that necessitated that I use ALL of the bacon today – about nine strips in a meal for one.
So If I die tonight from clogged arteries, blame 365 Everyday brand low-sodium bacon. -Tyler Nemkov
