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Govnr's Park Restaurant & Tavern

Eric Gruneisen
If you've ever had fantasies of throwing away everything you've got and moving to some small town in the middle of nowhere, Govnr's Park is just what you'd want the one bar in that town to be. It's the kind of place where, if you're having some problem (be it psychological, marital, political or just a broken-down motorcycle), odds are pretty good there's an expert in the house. It's the kind of place that will celebrate the presidential inauguration with as much enthusiasm as the football playoffs -- complete with drink specials, extended hours and dirt-cheap grub ranging from burgers to tater tots to Mexican fare to slightly more substantial and upscale grub from the grill.