Ask a Stoner: Where Can I Find Adult-Themed Edibles?

Dear Stoner: I'm going to a bachelorette party and want to bring "adult"-themed gummies. Do dispensaries sell those?

Dear Nikki: I’ve never come across phallic gummies, and I’m not sure dispensaries could sell them if they wanted to.

A 2016 Colorado law banned edibles made in shapes that attract kids. While grape-flavored dicks wouldn't be designed to attract kids, those mini eggplants could be prohibited all the same. The law lists edibles “in the distinct shape of a human, animal or fruit” as those considered attractive to kids, and an argument could be made that an ol'-fashioned cock-n-balls could apply to the human category. Not all shapes are banned, though, as marijuana leaves are explicitly listed as permissible, and the rest of the law's language is ambiguous enough to allow for some interpretation.

But it all comes down to demand, and I doubt many dispensaries believe that erotic edibles would sell before their expiration dates. Fortunately, making your own infused gummies is a lot easier than you think, and Amazon can get penis-shaped molds to your doorstep inside of five days. Time to get to work.

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Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego