Dear Stoner: I’m currently sitting here with a gram of wax and nothing to smoke it out of. I have a regular bong, but not extra cash for a dab attachment. What the hell am I supposed to do?
Cursed to sober

Dear Cursed: Ouch. I won’t waste time making fun of you for trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. I’m sure you didn’t intend to end up here, but your options are pretty limited if a regular bong is the only piece you have. If you have even the smallest amount of flower available, pack it all into a bowl and put a fat garnish of wax on that sucker before lightly ripping it into oblivion. Even vaped weed or tobacco would work if you’re really desperate – you just need something smokeable for the wax to sit on while it burns.

Don't worry about spotting your designated hash knives after using them. They'll never look the same again.

Wikipedia user Rperrin1

So go back in time with some good old-fashioned knife hits. Just take two butter knives and put them inside a stove ring, and then heat the stove. Drop the piece of hash between the knives and quickly press them together and inhale. Use the top of a bottle to funnel the smoke in if necessary. Another old-school tactic is sticking a needle straight up in a cork, sticking a glob of hash on top of it and lighting it until it smolders. Then put a drinking glass over the needle and inhale the smoke with a straw after it collects.

Have a question for our Stoner? E-mail marijuana@westword.com or call the potline at 303­-293-­2222.

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