Do I Need to Hide My Bong While Selling My Home?

Westword

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Dear Stoner: I'm trying to sell my home in Aurora, and I've unintentionally left my bong or stash out a few times. I can tell the realtor is annoyed, and I get it, but is that really going to stop someone from buying my place?
On the Market

Dear On the Market: As far as realtor requests, this is very tame. Why make anything harder on yourself in this market? It's hard enough to sell a home in the Denver area for asking price as it is, let alone in Aurora. You shouldn't just keep a clean house before each showing. You should bake a fresh batch of cookies before each potential buyer arrives, and try every other subliminal trick out there.

click to enlarge

Flickr/Buzzed Buds

As someone who pops a chub after smelling dank weed in public, I'd be very turned off by a dirty bong and weed jars during a home tour, too. What other surprises do you have awaiting buyers in your cabinets? How backed up is your garbage disposal?

Buying a new house is a huge decision, and people will walk away over the smallest things. Hide your stash on a daily basis and act like an adult, Peter Pan.

Herbert Fuego is the alias of a longtime Westword staffer. Send him questions through [email protected]