Gaga's "Judas" isn't controversial! It's been done. Better.

We live for releases of controversial and eye-opening videos that cause a stir. And we're personally offended when one comes out that claims to be groundbreaking but just rips someone else off. We know it's hard for these new popstresses to come up with new ideas for interesting videos, but come on! You can do better than this, Gaga. We appreciate that she is coming to Denver on her Monster Ball tour in July, but the recent release of her lame, not-so-controversial "Judas" video has us all fired up. There are far better videos over which to get your panties in a wad, people.

It's been a while since we experienced a big uproar in the music community because of a video slandering religion. We miss the hype. They were everywhere for a while, and they not only made for superb news, but they also inspired us to take risks and not give a shit what people thought. Unfortunately, now that corporate sponsors have taken over videos, we are seeing fewer chances being taken. Here is our homage to musicians past who had the balls to take on religion. Be inspired. Put a monkey on a cross, for Christ's sake!

5. "Like a Prayer" - Madonna

Leave it to Madonna to piss off religious groups and racists! YAY!!! Even though the video reflects a happy, singing choir and Madonna actively participating in the ceremony, it also portrays an African American man as Saint Martin de Porres (not effin' Jesus), burning crosses, and Madonna with stigmata while wearing lingerie. Now for us, that's just a regular old Sunday brunch, but for Catholics? Not so much. They caused quite a ruckus -- so much so that Madonna lost her $5 million dollar contract with Pepsi because of it. Not that we care that much when pop stars lose billions, but in this case, we wonder what the hell all the fuss was about? If you don't like it, people, you can -- in our experience -- change the goddamn channel.

4. "Losing My Religion" - R.E.M.

When you stick religion in the title of your song, Bible beaters are going to take notice. And they did. The irony of the controversy is the song isn't about religion at all. "Losing my religion" is a saying for when one loses their temper; Michael Stipe (lead singer of REM) has stated that the song is about a lost love and was meant to invoke the feelings of pining for someone. This song is a prime example of how the crazies in our country "Beck" out before they even know what the hell they're talking about. (To "Beck" out is to make grandiose assumptions about subjects in which you know nothing about to gain political acceptance and financial gains from witless conservatives. Yes, I just coined that term, but it's gonna catch on. Got to celebrate it!)

3. "Heart Shaped Box" - Nirvana

Old men in diapers wearing Santa hats are far scarier to us than the religious imagery in this video, but nonetheless, people were offended by the Christian cross and the fatty sporting angel wings. Who woulda thought? Although the good press far outweighed the upset religious-mom groups, there were still some pissed-off church-goers. Kurt Cobain, not known for his politically correct nature, quickly shut down the upset MILF's by telling them his inspiration were kids dying from cancer. You have to hand it to him, pulling out the kid with cancer card? Fucking brilliant. Well done, Kurt.

2. "Closer" - Nine Inch Nails

The 1994 single known as "Closer to God" was first released on Reznor's album The Downward Spiral. After viewing the video, it's clear that he couldn't have cared less about what religious groups or conservatives thought about his music or videos. Nine Inch Nails packed it full of offensively grotesque images throughout every scene. It shows a naked bald chick sporting a crucifix mask, a spinning pig's head and a monkey on a cross. We personally find the video artistic and beautiful, but we aren't flocking into pews every Sunday, either. Plus, we really like the line "I want to fuck you like an animal," and find it particularly effective when propositioning someone in rural areas.

1. "Hate Me Now" - Nas

If you have to put a disclaimer at the beginning of your music video, you know it's offended some uptight religious group. In the video, Nas portrays himself as Jesus carrying the cross through a crowd of screaming, rock-throwing haters. And honestly, Nas has made it clear that he's all about loving J-Dawg, so we don't see what the big deal is -- but of course, that's not saying much. It's rumored that Diddy was supposed to be the one carrying the cross at the beginning of the video, but spoke with a minister and decided it was just too bold. The video angered religious groups all over the world (as most videos do), and we're thinking we kind of like Nas as Jesus. He's got some style that the white-skinned hypocritical modern Jesus is missing (the OG was a brotha, and was probably pretty rad.) We know: controversial!

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Stephanie March
Contact: Stephanie March