Commentary

I wanna get freaky with you: The ten most WTF-worthy lyrics of '90s-era R&B

Page 2 of 3

10. Bell Biv Devoe - "Do Me"

"Girl, let your hair down. Take off your clothes and leave on your shoes" and "Backstage, underage adolescent. How ya doin? Fine, she replied. I sighed. I like to do the wild thing. Action took place. Mmm, kinda wet. Don't forget the J the I the M the M the Y, yo! I need a body bag."

How many licks does it take to get to the center of this crazy nonsense? First, we've got a slightly odd but overall benign reference to a foot fetish. Okay, it's kinda weird, but no big deal. But then they come in with this rap breakdown that describes...uh...sex with an underage girl, followed by killing her? Am I missing something? Oh, I get it. Body bag is some super-cool '90s term for a condom. Nice work there, BBD.

9. Solo - "Where Do You Want Me to Put It?"

"Where do you want me to put it? If you want me to get it right, tell me, what should I do with it? Cause you're startin' to work it down, and I don't want to lose it."

What's incredibly bizarre is that this no-holds-barred, completely euphemism-free raunch anthem is preceded by the dudes of Solo doing a truly fantastic a cappella Sam Cooke medley. They go straight from "My baby likes to do the cha-cha-cha" into "Where you want me to put this, girl?!?!" Well. That escalated rather quickly, didn't it?

8. Aaron Hall - "Don't Be Afraid"

"All the doors are locked, baby, and I have you inside. You can yell, and you can hit me; it just makes me horny."

It's actually kind of hard to pick out which lyrics in this WTF-mobile make you feel the slimiest. Is it when he says "You'll be saying daddy to me, boy, please don't hurt me"? Is it the constant refrain to give in and not be scared? Nah, I think it's that creepster line about locking the girl in your house while she yells. Dang, I know he's a freak, but I'd prefer R. Kelly telling me we're gonna have a yabbadabbadoo time over this sketchball any day of the week. Speaking of which...

7. R. Kelly - "She's Got That Vibe"

"Like Flintstones, we'll have a yabbadabbadoo."

R. Kelly straight-up dropped a Flintstones reference into a song about having a crush on a girl. Let that one sink in. If anything, this goes to show that Kelly was into weird shit way before he gave us this amazing scene in Trapped in the Closet. But on the real: Does this work? Can you convince someone to go on a date with you by telling them you're going to have a yabbadabbadoo time? Someone try it out and report back, will ya?

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Ashley Rogers