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Meet nine-year-old Ezra Lux, your new favorite metal blogger/critic

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Behold nine-year-old Ezra Lux, possibly the world's first (and greatest) pre-teen metal blogger. Over at his barely a month old metal blog Crud Wizard (which is also the best name for a metal blog we've heard in a long, long time), Ezra is dropping some serious wisdom, such as this gem of an observation about Mercyful Fate's Don't Break the Oath:

Sometimes it makes me picture someone doing a pole vault, and sometimes it makes me think of ninjas.

And we thought we were the only ones that happened to.

His Mercyful Fate review also includes some key observations about King Diamond, such as this:

What makes this record so awesome, in my opinion, is King Diamond. ... King Diamond has a very distinct voice, like that of a possessed pixie.

Ezra lives in San Francisco with two writer parents (explaining the precociousness of a nine year old with a blog), at least one of whom (dad) is totally metal (explaining the precocious love of metal). Despite only being in operation for a month or so, he's got a nice backlog of posts, including thoughts on Thin Lizzy:

Thin Lizzy covers many subjects in their song lyrics, for instance one song like "Cowboy Song" is about cowboys and another like "Jailbreak" is about someone escaping from jail. So thats why I love Thin Lizzy.

Other stuff to look out for includes a state of the day post (which includes handy facts about each state such as the capital, motto and, most importantly, the key '80s hardcore band from each state), a feature on his favorite album covers (Iron Maiden, Judas Priest and Cannibal Corpse are among his picks) and a kick-ass report on his metal weekend that includes micro reviews of a half dozen bands, and this:

During the whole thing I had a lot of fun, like rolling down hills, exploring in the park, building log forts and climbing trees.

This is exactly what music journalism needs: More log forts and tree climbing, less hyperbole about Lady Gaga. All hail the Crud Wizard.

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Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.