Three words: Bono for Pope. Seriously. I mean, what other job would interest this guy? Some folks honestly suggested him as a candidate to head the World Bank, but such a menial task was clearly beneath him -- and as proof, consider that the post eventually went to Paul Wolfowitz, a Bush-administration insider with all the charisma of your father's accountant. (Wolfy, one of the chief architects of the Iraq war, phoned Bono after being nominated. Clearly, he understands who's really got the power.) Sure, being the planet's biggest rock star is satisfying, and Bono's used this status to his advantage by, for instance, tricking Apple, manufacturer of the iPod, into running gazillions of de facto commercials for "Vertigo," the first single from the triple-platinum CD How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. But anyone who saw his acceptance speech during the recent Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony understands that, above all else, Bono loves the sound of his own voice, and the papacy would provide him with plenty of chances to hear it. So don't miss Bono and the U2 support crew, along with opening act Kings of Leon, at one of their Denver dates -- because within a week, he could be standing on a platform in Vatican City wearing a dress and a funny hat. Rock on, Pope Bono I!