Whomp! There it isn't: Five places you won't see the Whomp Truck on First Friday

The Whomp Truck took a great idea and put it to action. Get a cheap box truck, fill it with speakers, throw a DJ booth in the back and park somewhere with a clear plot of land. That is the recipe and ingredients for a good party, and the guys at Whomp Truck have been throwing down hard at Santa Fe First Friday ArtWalks all summer. But what if they parked in these five locations? Then what? Total chaos! Here are the five last places you'll see the Whomp Truck.

1) Head Trauma Ward at Craig Hospital: There is, without a doubt, an ordinance against listening to music above a certain decibel level, since sounds can send brain waves into a mass frenzy. So, to avoid NIHL (Noise-Induced Hearing Loss), Whomp Truck should probably avoid this parking lot.

2) The Colorado Symphony Orchestra: How would it look if the Whomp Truck was blasting dirty bass into the echoing halls of the DPAC? If a fully loaded bass chest were in the same running as a Pavrotti tenor, we might be on the same page, but more than likely, the first chair violinist is not going to wobble wobble or bounce-bounce.

3) The Parade of Lights Denver: This annual holiday celebration has become a staple for the kick-off of Denver's holiday season. With the four 18s and four 15s packed into the Whomp Truck, Denver is sure to be blown away with sawtoothed bass lines while citizens admire the swaddled baby Jesus.

4) Outside of the governor's mansion: What better way to ring in and celebrate our newly elected governor Hickenlooper besides high stepping in a parking lot? There isn't a better way, and we could dub our leader Governor Hickenwhomper.

5) The Aquarium:The only real way to judge if your music is loud is by watching the waves created from the bass thumps. You could use a glass of water, but a 400,000 gallon talk full of sharks, surrounded by glass and people, makes for a much better meter as to how loud it is.

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Britt Chester is a writer and video producer living in Denver, Colorado. He's covered breaking news, music, arts and cannabis for Westword since 2010. His work has appeared in GQ Magazine, Village Voice, YES! Weekly, Inman News and the Winston-Salem Journal. He likes running, cycling, and interviewing people.
Contact: Britt Chester