Crime

Boulder Police Twitter freakout: Six tweets in four minutes about locking your car

Members of the Boulder Police Department want you to lock your car. Really. Seriously. No kidding. In fact, they so badly want you to lock your car that this morning, the BPD's Twitter account spewed out six tweets telling you to lock your car over the span of four minutes. And reading them back to back to back to back to back to back is flat-out hilarious. We count them down below. Tweet one, 8:58 a.m.: Our message is clear, straight-forward and based on recent reports. Read it. Think about it. Commit it to memory. Tweet two, 8:59 a.m.: Just in case you hadn't really thought about the type of person who steals things from cars, you should know: They're not very nice. Tweet three, 9 a.m.: What's the matter with you people? Do you have so many expensive gadgets that you can afford to have them ripped off without giving it a second thought? Tweet four, 9:01 a.m.: We have a feeling you people aren't listening. And we've got enough paperwork already, thank you very much! Tweet five, 9:01 a.m.: Did we mention that crooks are bad? We did? Well, they are. Very bad. And by the way, if you think you're getting your stuff back -- ever -- think again. Tweet six, 9:02 a.m.: Okay, maybe you're going to lock your car -- but your stupid friends probably won't.

Whew! Glad they got that out of their system. Now, I wonder...did I lock my car?

More from our Tech archive: "Denver Police Twitter survey results on photo radar stories: 'Who cares?' finishes strong."

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts