Carmelo Anthony sucks in Nurse Jackie debut: This is why he moved to New York?

Plenty of people who tuned in last night's episode of the Showtime series Nurse Jackie probably found themselves saying, "Hey, isn't that Carmelo Anthony?" And it was: Melo appeared as a patient in a rehab center -- yet Showtime PR reps hardly knocked themselves out ballyhooing the gig. Why? Maybe because his "acting" was so lame that it calls into question one of the presumed reasons he made the leap from the Nuggets to the New York Knicks in the first place.

Showtime hasn't made an Anthony showcase clip available -- another indication of the net's pride in his work. Indeed, the only video I found of Melo on the Nurse Jackie site linked above was a preview to last night's episode. He can be seen checking his watch, which is probably what a lot of viewers did when he came on screen.

When they weren't laughing, that is.

Carmelo's first line, as part of a therapy-session scene, finds him announcing that he's "a professional baseball player" -- what a stretch! In the rest of the sequence, he's mostly called upon to react, which he does with all the aptitude of the third tree from the left in a third-grade pageant. He pops up again in a common-room bit, where he talks about hitting a baseball in so clumsy a manner that it's unclear he's actually ever held a bat.

Is this something Anthony really wants to do? Or is he simply following a game plan designed by his wife, spotlight addict La La Vazquez? Hard to tell. But his reality show foray in the VH1 patience tester La La's Full Court Wedding was a snooze, and his latest attempt at thespianism makes Shaquille O'Neal's turn in Kazaam seem like Oscar bait in comparison.

Yes, signing with the Knicks has given Melo more show biz opportunities. But it hasn't helped either squad in substantial ways. Right now, both New York and Denver are struggling to qualify for the playoffs, with the Nuggets facing a key matchup tonight against the Houston Rockets (who they beat handily at home yesterday), while NYC fell to the Miami Heat despite Melo's 42-point outburst. But even if both squads reach the postseason, they're unlikely to get very far, since the Nugs will probably face the daunting Oklahoma City Thunder and the Knicks' likeliest draw is...the Heat.

And it's not as if Anthony has acting to fall back on. Get a glimpse of him in the video below.

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More from our Sports archive: "Carmelo Anthony traded: ESPN celebrates NY Knicks, doesn't give sh*t about Denver Nuggets."

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