Politics

Delegating Denver #48 of 56: Texas

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Texas

Total Number of Delegates: 228 Pledged: 193 Unpledged: 35

How to Recognize a Texas Delegate: This state may be huge and populous, but the Lone Star mystique can be summed up in the image of George W. Bush and Jessica Simpson driving a Ford F-150 pickup to the corner fireworks stand, where they stop and shop with one hand while carrying a six-shooter in the other. It's the celebrity state with the larger-than-life image that makes up in hellfire what it lacks in precision. Texans are famous the world over for their enthusiastic desire to fix things that are not broken. And, as evidenced by George Bush's Iraq project, Jessica Simpson's Dallas Cowboy QB football-busting scheme and Dr. Phil's Britney Spears rehab program, Texans won't take "STOP!" for an answer. Why, it even caused Dallas oil magnate Clint Murchison Jr. to start demolishing the unique, historic pre-WWII stone-trimmed Victorian commercial blocks that transformed downtown Denver into the architecturally insignificant district it is today. While all Texas delegates share this same "fix fixation," it will be easier to spot them in Denver according to their unique regional differences. Delegates from Dallas will love to dress up and eat breakfast at Burger King while looking down their noses at fellow patrons. Friendly Houstonians will continue ongoing conversations, and often start new ones, through stall walls in public restrooms. Austin is the new Berkeley, and delegates from the state's capital will dress like librarians, often reaching for a sweater when the temps dip below 76º F, and talk exclusively about dogs and composting. All will sport hairstyles that reflect the adage that everything is bigger in Texas. East Texans will wear their big hair in lofty cotton-candy coiffures, while west Texans will let it hang, often in tails and braids, to prevent the nesting of scorpions.

Famous Texans: Ex-President Dwight D. Eisenhower; fashionista Todd Oldham; writer Larry McMurty; journalists Stone Phillips and Dan Rather; film director Richard Linklater; TV producer Gene Roddenberry; actors Tommy Lee Jones, Renée Zellweger, Matthew McConaughey, Farrah Fawcett, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Steve Martin, Jennifer Garner, Woody Harrelson, Eva Longoria Parker, Bill Paxton, Sissy Spacek, Ethan Hawke, Jerry Hall, Larry Hagman, Ann Miller, Owen, Andrew and Luke Wilson; musicians Kris Kristofferson, Beyoncé Knowles, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Cat Power, Don Henley, Win (Arcade Fire) Butler, Johnny and Edgar Winter, Johnny Mathis, Janis Joplin, Buddy Holly, Lyle Lovett, Trini Lopez, Marcia Ball, Ornett Coleman, Erykah Badu, Oran "Hot Lips" Page; ZZ Toppers Billy Gibbons, Frank Beard and Dusty Hill; biker Lance Armstrong; fame-baiter Jessica Simpson.

Famous Texas Democrats: 36th United States president Lyndon Baines Johnson; 69th United States Secretary of the Treasury Lloyd Bentsen; 29 & 32nd governor Miriam "Ma" Ferguson; 45th governor Ann Richards; 10th United States Housing and Urban Development Secretary Henry Cisneros; United States representatives Ruben Hinojosa, Sheila Jackson-Lee and Eddie Bernice Johnson.

Famous Texans With Denver Connections: Suburb namesake and former governor Daniel I.J. Thornton; former governor Bill Owens; former mayor Federico Peña; Broncos players Javon Walker, Jarvis Moss and Sam Adams; South Park co-creator Matt Stone; Real World: Denver resident Alex Smith; TV family counselor Bill Engvall; Libertarian Party presidential candidate Christine Smith; DIA “Mustang” sculptor Luis Jimenez.

State Nickname: The Lone Star State, the Banner State, the Jumbo State (official); The Big Hair State, The I Tell You What State, Land of Pearl and Tabasco (unofficial) Population: 23,507,783 Racial Distribution: 48% white, 12% black, 1% Native American, 3% Asian, 36% Hispanic Per Capita Personal Income: $29,372 Unemployment: 7.5%

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Cory Casciato is a Denver-based writer with a passion for the geeky, from old science fiction movies to brand-new video games.
Contact: Cory Casciato