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Denver Police Department's Latest Stupid Criminal Stories

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Back in January, we noted that the Denver Police Department had started posting stupid criminal stories on its Facebook page, and shared some of the funniest examples.

Since our original post, the DPD definitely hasn't run short of material.

Indeed, the department has shared a whole new batch of tales in which the actions of alleged wrongdoers suggest that they couldn't win a duel of wits with a mannequin.

Below, check out ten recent (and photo-illustrated) favorites.

Sunday, June 21, 2015, Denver Police District 4 officers responded to the area of W. Kentucky Avenue and S. Clay Street on a report of a fight with possible weapons. When officers arrived on scene, they contacted the victim who explained that he was assaulted by a male who was now waking east on W. Kentucky Avenue. When officers tried contacting the suspect, he began running. The suspect ran to Zuni, then north into the park where he circled around a grove of trees, and then ran back south towards Kentucky Avenue. The suspect then tripped and fell, giving officers the opportunity to take him into custody. The suspect was identified as 21 year-old Russell Vigil. He was arrested for assault, as well on two active warrants for arrest, including one felony warrant for forgery.

Friday, June 19, 2015, Denver Police - District 6 officers responded to a report of a male suspect climbing up a billboard tower at 20th Street and Lincoln Street. When officers arrived on scene, they saw the suspect spray-painting large white letters on the back of the billboard. Unfortunately for the suspect, he was unable to safely climb back down the billboard, and Denver Fire responded to assist him. After that, officers took the suspect, 19 year-old Harvey Lewis, into custody, and recovered his backpack, which was filled with spray paint cans. Lewis was arrested for destruction of property.

Thursday, June 18, 2015, officers responded to a report of a child left in a parked car, completely exposed to the sun, in the 1700 block of W 46th Avenue. When officers arrived, the baby, who was approximately three weeks old, was found in the vehicle. The rear windows were down, but the temperature inside the vehicle was still 122 degrees. The baby was sweating profusely, and appeared ashy. One of the officers opened the door to the vehicle, and the alarm went off. The officer then took the baby to the police cruiser, and turned on the air conditioner to cool the baby until paramedics transported the baby to the hospital. Shortly after, a woman claiming to be the child’s mother came outside. Through the officers’ investigation, they learned that the child’s mother left the baby in the vehicle for approximately ten minutes while she was inside the nearby post office. The child was evaluated at the hospital and released back to her mother, who was issued a citation for wrongs to minors.

Saturday, June 13, 2015, Denver Police District 2 officers responded to a three vehicle accident in the area of E. Colfax Avenue and Colorado Boulevard. The officers’ investigation revealed that the curfew police van was stopped at a red light on E. Colfax avenue, facing eastbound in the right turn lane. The second involved vehicle was in the next lane over, also stopped at the red light facing eastbound. The suspect vehicle was also traveling westbound when it attempted to squeeze between the two victim vehicles, sideswiping both. The driver of the suspect vehicle continued on its route for a few more blocks before coming to rest at E. Colfax Avenue and Birch Street. The suspect driver, 29 year-old Gregorio Hernandez was arrested for driving under the influence.

Late Saturday night, May 30, 2015, Denver Police District 1 officers responded to the area of 43rd Avenue and Tejon Street on a report of shots being fired into the air. The reporting party provided a description of a Hispanic male wearing a tank top sitting against a tree in the park. As officers arrived on scene, they saw a male matching the description of the suspect in the park, and noticed that he was in possession of a silver handgun. Officers approached the party who attempted to conceal the weapon, then handed it to the woman sitting next to him, and began fleeing the area. A foot chase ensued and officers were able to take the suspect into custody briefly after in the 4400 block of Tejon Street. Identified as 31 year-old Ramon Medrano, the suspect was contacted wearing a bullet proof vest, and found to be a wanted felon. Medrano was arrested for possession of weapon of a previous offender (POWPO).

Early Monday morning, May 25, 2015, Denver Police District 4 officers were flagged down on a large fight at a club in the 1600 block of W. Evans Avenue. Officer Moore arrived on scene and learned that the suspect fled east bound in a blue vehicle. The officer located the suspect vehicle nearby, and learned that three of the four occupants had possibly been involved in the assault. Officers’ investigation found that the suspect and her friends got into a verbal argument with the victims over seating arrangements at the club. The argument escalated into a physical altercation, with one of the victims being struck multiple times. A second victim, a bouncer at the club, was struck by a shoe. Witnesses positively identified 22 year-old Carina Banuelos as the suspect, and she was arrested for assault.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015, Denver Police Department District Three, Southeast Denver officers responded to the 400 block of Broadway Street on a report of a business burglary. The victim explained that he found his business’ door had been forced open, and that an electronic tablet was missing, as well as a bag of loose change, and some beef sticks. The victim was able to use a GPS app on the tablet to track its location; it showed it was in the area of 1000 Englewood Parkway in Englewood. Together, the officers and victim responded to the area, and the victim used his cell phone to remotely activate a chime on the tablet. The suspect was found sleeping on the floor in a building in the area, with the tablet next to him. Officers also observed a bag of loose change, and an open bag of beef treats with the suspect. Identified as 29 year-old Austin Peetz, the suspect was arrested for burglary.

Early Monday morning, April 20, 2015, Denver Police - District 6 officers were conducting area patrol in the 1300 block of Clarkson Street, when they saw a male party hiding behind a bush near a gated generator for a nearby school. When officers contacted the male, they noticed that the lock to the fenced-in generator was missing. Further investigation revealed that the now-suspect was in possession of numerous containers of copper wiring and scrap metal. It was confirmed that the male was not an employee, and was trespassing. The suspect, identified as 40 year-old Terrence Welsh, was also found to be in possession of numerous burglary tools, and suspected methamphetamine. Welsh was arrested for criminal trespassing, possession of burglary tools, and possession of a controlled substance.

Late Friday night, April 3, 2015, officers attempted to stop a vehicle that was driving erratically in the parking lot of the 700 block of N. Sheridan Boulevard. The suspect vehicle refused to stop when officers activated their emergency equipment. Officers did not pursue the suspect vehicle, but aired it’s description and direction, as it sped off at a high rate of speed southbound on Sheridan Boulevard, nearly getting into an accident. Air One located the suspect vehicle driving into Lakewood, Wheatridge, and Edgewater. Officers from those jurisdictions also attempted to stop the vehicle. During the attempt to stop the vehicle, the suspect driver intentionally rammed the officer’s police car. Edgewater, and Lakeside officers pursued the vehicle as it came east on 44th Avenue, back into Denver. Air One continued to follow the suspect as Denver officers remained in the vicinity, prepared to assist. The suspect continued northbound where he was followed by Adams County Sheriff Deputies. At 55th Avenue and Federal, the suspect rammed a stationary Denver Police car and continued southbound, where he lost control of the vehicle at W 20th Avenue at N King Street. The suspect fled on foot, but was quickly apprehended. The suspect, 27 year-old Ceaser Cruz, was found to be a habitual traffic offender and was arrested for aggravated assault and eluding.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015, Denver Police District 4 narcotics detectives, with the assistance of district officers, conducted a drug bust in the 2000 block of S. Federal Boulevard. Detectives received information that a drug dealer would in the area, driving a blue car. The detectives spotted the suspect, and saw him spit out several balloons of suspected heroin. Officers were directed to the suspect’s vehicle, where they contacted the suspect, identified as 21 year-old Jose Avila. Upon contact, Avila spat out several more balloons of suspected heroin, and more were found on his person. Avila was arrested for possession and sale of a controlled substance.

Send your story tips to the author, Michael Roberts.

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