Denver Police Department's Latest Stupid Criminal Stories

Back in January, we noted that the Denver Police Department had started posting stupid criminal stories on its Facebook page, and shared some of the funniest examples.

Since our original post, the DPD definitely hasn't run short of material.

Indeed, the department has shared a whole new batch of tales in which the actions of alleged wrongdoers suggest that they couldn't win a duel of wits with a mannequin.

Below, check out ten recent (and photo-illustrated) favorites.

Sunday, June 21, 2015, Denver Police District 4 officers responded to the area of W. Kentucky Avenue and S. Clay Street on a report of a fight with possible weapons. When officers arrived on scene, they contacted the victim who explained that he was assaulted by a male who was now waking east on W. Kentucky Avenue. When officers tried contacting the suspect, he began running. The suspect ran to Zuni, then north into the park where he circled around a grove of trees, and then ran back south towards Kentucky Avenue. The suspect then tripped and fell, giving officers the opportunity to take him into custody. The suspect was identified as 21 year-old Russell Vigil. He was arrested for assault, as well on two active warrants for arrest, including one felony warrant for forgery.

Friday, June 19, 2015, Denver Police - District 6 officers responded to a report of a male suspect climbing up a billboard tower at 20th Street and Lincoln Street. When officers arrived on scene, they saw the suspect spray-painting large white letters on the back of the billboard. Unfortunately for the suspect, he was unable to safely climb back down the billboard, and Denver Fire responded to assist him. After that, officers took the suspect, 19 year-old Harvey Lewis, into custody, and recovered his backpack, which was filled with spray paint cans. Lewis was arrested for destruction of property.

Thursday, June 18, 2015, officers responded to a report of a child left in a parked car, completely exposed to the sun, in the 1700 block of W 46th Avenue. When officers arrived, the baby, who was approximately three weeks old, was found in the vehicle. The rear windows were down, but the temperature inside the vehicle was still 122 degrees. The baby was sweating profusely, and appeared ashy. One of the officers opened the door to the vehicle, and the alarm went off. The officer then took the baby to the police cruiser, and turned on the air conditioner to cool the baby until paramedics transported the baby to the hospital. Shortly after, a woman claiming to be the child’s mother came outside. Through the officers’ investigation, they learned that the child’s mother left the baby in the vehicle for approximately ten minutes while she was inside the nearby post office. The child was evaluated at the hospital and released back to her mother, who was issued a citation for wrongs to minors.

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts