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eBay--Touched by the Greasy Hand of Faith

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I know when I eat any kind of fried food, thoughts of evil float around in my head. The Devil uses trans-fat to tempt humankind and I can say I am tempted many times a day. While I'm stuffing that fried Twinkie in my mouth, I say a prayer, hoping that God will save my grease-covered soul and turn the Twinkie into an apple.

So far my prayers have not been answered, but God has bestowed a food-related blessing on one Pueblo resident in the manifestation of a cross-bearing French fry. The starting eBay bid for Pwcyclone's Cruci-fry is $250. A steal when you consider that the French fry has been touched by the fast-food glove of God.

The starting $250 bid also buys you black velvet, museum gloves for handling, and certificate of authenticity. I have no clue how Pwcyclone received this certificate or just who gives out certificates for religious-based foods, but the black velvet is worth the $250 alone. Because nothing says “classy”or “Jesus” like a piece of black velvet. --Crystal Preston-Watson

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Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.