The line separating Schmucks of the Week from the rest of humanity is a thin one. Choose to walk away when provoked and there's a good chance you'll avoid being tagged with a schmucky label. But act before your brain is engaged and you'll have a helluva good chance of dishonorable mention.
Which brings us to Joseph Bosveld. If the account of his recent actions at a Boulder bar are accurate, his schmuckiness is easy to see, because a man who took a glass to the eye may have sight problems in the future.
At 12:44 a.m. on Sunday, according to a police account shared by the Boulder Daily Camera, cops were called to the Catacombs, a bar at 2115 13th Street.
There, they found a man with (try not to picture this) a piece of glass stuck in the middle of his eyeball and an eyelid that had almost been sliced off.
The reported chain of events sounds as stupid as the injury was grisly. The victim and his girlfriend, who works at the bar, were reportedly playing pool with Bosveld, 26, when the latter dropped a glass, which broke when it hit the floor.
No big deal, right? After all, these things happen. But instead of dealing with the mess, Bosveld is said to have tried brushing the shards underneath the pool table.
The female employee responded by asking him to pick up the pieces, which apparently struck Bosveld as totally unreasonable. The ensuing argument started out verbal but rapidly became physical, with Bosveld allegedly picking up a pint glass off a nearby counter and shattering it in the man's face.
The man was taken to a nearby hospital, where doctors feared both "permanent disfigurement" and a loss of vision in the eye that took the brunt of the damage.
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As for Bosveld, he was gone by the time cops arrived, but they had no problem tracking him down. All they had to do was follow the trail of blood, which led them to an apartment whose occupants told police Bosveld had gone to the hospital, too -- in order to treat a wounded hand.
In a subsequent interview with police, Bosveld apparently admitted to the glass smackdown, but claimed self-defense, maintaining that the guy had tried to choke him.
Nonetheless, Bosveld was taken into custody on suspicion of first-degree assault -- although first-degree schmuckiness might have been just as appropriate. Here's a larger look at this mug shot.
More from our Schmuck of the Week archive: "Miguel Sanchez took a leak outside -- and got busted for a thirteen-year-old murder."