Johnson is accused of a series of false reports about ominous threats -- all of which appear to have been directed at her by her.

According to the arrest affidavit, on view below in its entirety, Johnson contacted the cops this summer to say that she and her husband had received a series of phone calls, voicemails and text messages threatening her safety stretching over an eight-month period.

This report was followed by four more. On those occasions, Johnson told cops that unknown suspects had burglarized her home, assaulted her and menaced her with a handgun. And there were apparently plenty of folks who wanted to do her harm. The cops estimate the total at six women and three men.

Then, on September 22, Johnson reported a car accident that was no accident, by her telling. She claimed she'd been driving southbound on Sheridan at around thirty miles per hour when another vehicle struck the right rear portion of her ride. She pulled over in a parking lot, and two people -- a man and (possibly) a woman -- eventually dislodged her from behind the wheel and used her cell phone to call her husband and say they "had" her. Hubby phoned Denver Police, saying he told this unknown male he was willing to trade himself for his wife. But before any such swap could take place, Johnson was released and headed back home.

If the cops didn't already have doubts about this saga, plenty of them had arisen by the time they interviewed Johnson at her place. For one thing, her report didn't match any physical evidence at the scene, and no witnesses could be found to support it. Moreover, the damage to Johnson's car was too high up to have been caused by another passenger car, and the ding was totally inconsistent with a crash at thirty miles per hour.

As the officers quizzed her, Johnson allegedly became agitated; she refused to answer any more questions and went back into her house. But moments later, as the cops were in the Johnson driveway, discussing what to do next, her husband reappeared, saying he'd received two calls on his cell phone from "them." The first call was dropped, but on the second, the masculine caller announced, "We won, nigga," and hung up.

This victory was short-lived. Since the assorted numbers had been listed as blocked, police filed a court order for the phone records and were able to determine that assorted threatening calls were made from Johnson's home number and one belonging to her mom. Presumably she's capable of a very manly phone voice.

Now, Johnson has been charged with attempting to influence a public servant and six counts of false reporting. She's due in court next week -- if she isn't abducted first.

Look below to take a larger look at Johnson's booking photo, as well as to read the aforementioned arrest affidavit.

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More from our Colorado Crimes archive: "Man threatens to stab cupcake store employees using syringe filled with AIDS-infected blood."