Crime

Man gets rocks off in pathetic 7-Eleven robbery

Even under the best of circumstances, the act of robbing a convenience store for the sake of a handful of singles in ready cash has to be one of the dumbest crimes imaginable, just on a simple risk-to-benefit scale. But for absolute desperation, nothing beats jacking a 7-Eleven at three in the morning, armed with one mean-looking rock -- the latest development in what's shaping up to be a stone-age crime spree in Colorado Springs.

According to an item in the official Colorado Springs Police Blotter, a man brandishing a "large rock" entered a 7-Eleven in southeast Colorado Springs in the wee hours of Thursday morning and demanded money. The clerk gave him cash from the register, but he also swiped a charity contribution jar on his way out.

The Gazette's report on this sad little heist notes that last week someone armed with a brick robbed an Arby's on the west side of town. No word yet on whether the crimes are connected -- other than the fact that the perps appear to be dumber than a bag of, well, you know.

In the 7-Eleven robbery, police are searching for a suspect described as "a black male, 30 to 40 years of age, medium build, wearing a blue running suit, blue bandanna on his head and black sunglasses."

Note to convenience store clerks in training: customers who show up at three a.m. in sunglasses, rock in hand, are generally trouble.

More from our Colorado Crimes archive: "Stealing an ATM is harder than it looks -- and it looks pretty damn hard."

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Alan Prendergast has been writing for Westword for over thirty years. He teaches journalism at Colorado College; his stories about the justice system, historic crimes, high-security prisons and death by misadventure have won numerous awards and appeared in a wide range of magazines and anthologies.
Contact: Alan Prendergast