Even under the best of circumstances, the act of robbing a convenience store for the sake of a handful of singles in ready cash has to be one of the dumbest crimes imaginable, just on a simple risk-to-benefit scale. But for absolute desperation, nothing beats jacking a 7-Eleven at three in the morning, armed with one mean-looking rock -- the latest development in what's shaping up to be a stone-age crime spree in Colorado Springs.
According to an item in the official Colorado Springs Police Blotter, a man brandishing a "large rock" entered a 7-Eleven in southeast Colorado Springs in the wee hours of Thursday morning and demanded money. The clerk gave him cash from the register, but he also swiped a charity contribution jar on his way out.
The Gazette's report on this sad little heist notes that last week someone armed with a brick robbed an Arby's on the west side of town. No word yet on whether the crimes are connected -- other than the fact that the perps appear to be dumber than a bag of, well, you know.
In the 7-Eleven robbery, police are searching for a suspect described as "a black male, 30 to 40 years of age, medium build, wearing a blue running suit, blue bandanna on his head and black sunglasses."
Note to convenience store clerks in training: customers who show up at three a.m. in sunglasses, rock in hand, are generally trouble.
More from our Colorado Crimes archive: "Stealing an ATM is harder than it looks -- and it looks pretty damn hard."
Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.