Man gets rocks off in pathetic 7-Eleven robbery

Even under the best of circumstances, the act of robbing a convenience store for the sake of a handful of singles in ready cash has to be one of the dumbest crimes imaginable, just on a simple risk-to-benefit scale. But for absolute desperation, nothing beats jacking a 7-Eleven at three in the morning, armed with one mean-looking rock -- the latest development in what's shaping up to be a stone-age crime spree in Colorado Springs.

According to an item in the official Colorado Springs Police Blotter, a man brandishing a "large rock" entered a 7-Eleven in southeast Colorado Springs in the wee hours of Thursday morning and demanded money. The clerk gave him cash from the register, but he also swiped a charity contribution jar on his way out.

The Gazette's report on this sad little heist notes that last week someone armed with a brick robbed an Arby's on the west side of town. No word yet on whether the crimes are connected -- other than the fact that the perps appear to be dumber than a bag of, well, you know.

In the 7-Eleven robbery, police are searching for a suspect described as "a black male, 30 to 40 years of age, medium build, wearing a blue running suit, blue bandanna on his head and black sunglasses."

Note to convenience store clerks in training: customers who show up at three a.m. in sunglasses, rock in hand, are generally trouble.

More from our Colorado Crimes archive: "Stealing an ATM is harder than it looks -- and it looks pretty damn hard."

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Alan Prendergast has been writing for Westword for over thirty years. He teaches journalism at Colorado College; his stories about the justice system, historic crimes, high-security prisons and death by misadventure have won numerous awards and appeared in a wide range of magazines and anthologies.
Contact: Alan Prendergast