More Messages: Fowl Balling

So far as we've been able to discover, no member of the 9News staff has had illicit congress with a bird. Still, during this morning's news program, veteran anchor Gary Shapiro felt the need to deny any hanky-panky pertaining to a flapper in the family way.

A few weeks back, a duck that 9News personnel named Nina (pronounced Nine-uh, of course) took up residence in the station's "Backyard," from where most weathercasts are delivered. Nina, whose doings can be tracked via web cam (no kidding) on this page, proceeded to lay precisely nine eggs. Today, when announcing that one of the eggs appears to have hatched, Shapiro said, "I swear to God" that the outlet's PR department didn't manipulate Nina or her precious cargo to insure that her egg total matched 9News' channel number.

Were a couple of those nine eggs purchased at the local grocery store? Only Nina, and the promotional geniuses at 9News, know for sure. -- Michael Roberts

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts