More Messages: Loud Mouths

During my formative years in Grand Junction, my young, snotty buddies and I referred to the local newspaper, the Daily Sentinel, as the Daily Senile. Well, the broadsheet's having the last laugh now. During a recent visit to the Western Slope, I picked up a copy of the Sentinel and discovered an entertaining feature whose best moments are fueled by the sort of crotchetiness associated with the most bitter sort of seniors.

"You Said It" is a forum for locals to make anonymous statements about whatever's on their mind at any given moment. The samples currently online at the paper's website are quite benign -- a series of congratulations and thank yous to various individuals and institutions. But the items included in the September 4 roster were much livelier. Consider the following:

"To the teen who wants us to give them something to do: Use your imagination and intelligence. Go to the library, volunteer for the city or any of hundreds of other locations, pick up trash, get a hobby, get a job, do your homework, visit the people in a retirement home or a hospital, get some exercise. Maybe the best of all would be, clean your room!"

"Kudos to the city planners involved in approving a warehouse disguised as a church at 28 and a quarter and Patterson. What next, a few railroad cars for storage? What an eyesore!"

"Political ambition in moderation is probably a good thing, but shouldn't we be somewhat wary when it appears to ooze from every pore of our young state representative?"

Granted, this forum doesn't discriminate when it comes to age. Here's a screed that takes on dudes of all vintages:

"Have you ever noticed how 90 percent or so of male drivers in Junction stop beyond the white lines at intersections? And have you noticed how many people make right turns on red lights, when a large sign says No Turn on Red Light? C'mon, people, if you can't read or can't see, you shouldn't be driving."

Clearly, these folks aren't senile. But a lot of them appear to be mighty pissed off. -- Michael Roberts

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts