Ask a Stoner: My Neighbor Grows Weed in His Yard. How Do I Befriend Him?

Dear Stoner: I’m 99 percent sure the guy across the street has a weed plant growing in the corner of his front yard. How should I become friends with him?
Tiff

Dear Tiff: He’s probably going to harvest it soon, if he hasn’t already, but you have a few things in your favor: You haven’t turned your neighbor in to the police, you don’t want to steal the plant, and there’s a good chance that he doesn’t know that you know about it yet. If he is an approachable and non-threatening guy, then the leverage is all yours.

Knocking on the door might be too aggressive, but approaching him with praise or curiosity will probably be enough to spark a friendly relationship. Just make sure to let him know off the top that you’re not a narc, and act more impressed than curious. Wait a week to prove you’re chill and trustworthy, then offer to help trim the buds. You might be able to score a few for yourself. You could also try to find out how he was able to grow such a big plant in a front yard, since the neighborhood apparently hasn’t noticed or doesn’t care. By the way, where did you say you live?

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