| Lists |

Photos: Ten strangest recent Boulder Craigslist "Rants and Raves"

Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

It's been almost a year since we dipped into the pool of weirdness known as Boulder Craigslist's "Rants and Raves" to highlight the ten weirdest posts there. And whaddya know: We discovered a fresh supply of bizarre posts -- some funny, some odd, some completely indescribable.

Look below to check out our photo-illustrated 2013 top ten, featuring snobby girls, douchebags who own a Lexus and more. Bet you'll be ranting and raving along with them in no time....

Number 10: Boulder girls are snobs

Period. Boulder girls are such snobs. I finally understood this recently after quite some time... I couldn't put my finger on it. And then, ah yes! They are snobs! I got it! They are snobby about their yoga. They are snobby about their standards in men. They are snobby about their dogs. They are snobby about being so outdoorsy, they are snobby, even the ones who claim to cut loose. I can't be more specific than that.. it just bugs me.

Number 9: Hey, douchebag in the black lexus

It's hard to convince others of your innate coolness when your gas cap is flapping in the wind. Just sayin'.

Continue to keep counting down the ten strangest recent Boulder Craigslist "Rants and Raves." Number 8: normal is where the weak go to get old

all you people succumbing to fear as if it were some great overlord. you all breathe tears of your own uselessness. how damn difficult is it to say something?

yea, I'm talking to you, you belong to me, I to you, and the world is ours. bunch of .... whatever, when i am noone, my voice will be without sound.

be my champion or my destroyer, but stop placating your fear...

Number 7: Finger print phones?

With the Government checking out everything that you say and do on your cell phone, now they will have your fingerprint to check you out too. Hope you aren't a criminal. Or they can make you one by using your prints for anything they want. Here's an idea, put your pets print on there. Your bird or your cat or dog. Be creative.

Continue to keep counting down the ten strangest recent Boulder Craigslist "Rants and Raves." Number 6: Why I'm shaving my armpits for this party tonight

I want to shave my armpits for this party tonight. For me. Not because of any societal pressure. Or maybe it is because of societal pressure? I'm not really sure anymore.

The intricacies of the human psyche are too numerous to know the origin of any given thought.

Oh man.

Number 5: Rich Liberals AND Conservatives (Boulder-CA Transplants)

Boulder Liberal AND Conservative Greed (Boulder)

I read these to posts recently and copied them. Poster #1 does not realize that Boulder is all rich ex Californians who do not need assistance. They whip out Amex Black and stay at the Hilton until the insurance check arrives. Poster #2 cites the "leftist degenerates" that disagree with his unbelievable greed. Most landlords in Boulder are rich LIBERALS.

The rich are responsible for ALL the problems in America! No one expects them to give their money to the poor. The problem is they can't stop screwing those whose backs they climb on who are now quickly the new WORKING homeless in America. Pay a liveable wage you Liberal AND Conservative greedmongers!

#1> i wanted to volunteer. ( from Broomfield) I love boulder and I am a handy, fit, strong man who wanted to spend the weekend helping out anywhere, I could not find any info in where to go or what to do. No gathering spot , no nothing. All the news does is talk about the volunteers but don't tell you how to volunteer . This disaster stuff is poorly organized! We could v had a lot of work done today if some idiot would just organize it.. wtf??? Oh well, I guess I'll just sit at home and watch football, and order pizza. sorry flood victims , I tried.....

god be with you. better days ahead. Good luck!!!

#2> I'm a local landlord. I had two available properties in Boulder when the flood hit. As soon as I realized that so many people were homeless, I immediately raised the rent on these properties by 15% (and they have since been rented). For my existing tenants, I may be raising rents if the demand remains strong here.

I'm not ashamed in the least. In fact, I'm proud that I will experience financial gain as a result of the flood.

It's called the invisible hand of the market. Supply and demand. CAPITALISM.

If any leftist degenerates in this town are offended, I suggest they move to North Korea, or some other paradise where their feeble minds will be at peace

Continue to keep counting down the ten strangest recent Boulder Craigslist "Rants and Raves." Number 4: No pic? Ya right.

what is up with the dudes that don't want to exchange pics? they say, "if you don't like me when i get there, you can just send me away." and this is after they asked for a picture and received it. i wonder if chics are falling for that shit. boys are dumb.

Number 3: Boulder Privileged White

If you really wanted to make the world better, maybe you should start by not being such a self-centered asshole. I've had it with this self-righteous, "I'm so great because I drive a Subaru and do yoga and eat organic and smell my farts" attitude. I'm tired of walking around in this town and seeing people turn their noses up at each other. I'm sick of people driving their cars and riding their bikes like the world revolves around them and everyone just being total dicks to everyone else who isn't in their rich kid, REI gathering, corporate logo jersey wearing, Avery drinking shitshow. This is one of the most racist and intolerant towns I've ever lived in...and I'm from the south. You think just because you're a democrat that means you're a good person? In my experience extreme conservatives and extreme liberals are the same exact person. They both think they know everything and they're both extremely intolerant of anyone who doesn't subscribe exactly to their worldview. So so long Boulder, I've got friends in low places and I'm going back to them. I'll take my place among the blue collar, pickup driving, WalMart shopping courteous and respectful people any day if it means I don't have to hear another snarky, judgmental conversation about how great it is to travel all over the world and be a rich fuckhead. Guess how much fossil fuels your plane ride to Europe burned? Hypocrites. Fuck you and your California parents and your trustfund and your fake ass tan. Btw, you all talk like you're mentally retarded. yah, for sure, like oh my god. Why do you have to try so hard to sound so stupid? And btw, dubstep sucks.

Continue to keep counting down the ten strangest recent Boulder Craigslist "Rants and Raves." Number 2: Crappy, minimum wage jobs... (All around town)

Yes the jobs are shitty.

Yes, it is only part time.

Yes, no benefits.

Yes, you better have a resume.

Seriously ? A RESUME ?

How pathetic.

Number 1: LEARN TO DRIVE!!!!

Some people just cant drive. We all no this, so it's not anything new. If you can not maneuver the vehicle you own because it is too big maybe you should have bought something smaller. Take my neighbor, can't parallel park to save her life. Maybe she's just to lazy to do it. She pulled out of the spot with no problem so it's safe to say she could put it back with no problem. People these days just want to just pull up and park, just kinda nose it in. Then I get complained to because it's in the way?! Fuck that learn to fucking drive!! She's got at least two in front and behind. Why is this kind of parking not on the driving test anymore when it should be??!!


Send your story tips to the author, Michael Roberts.

More from our Lists & Weirdness archive circa November 2012: "Photos: Ten weirdest recent Boulder Craigslist 'Rants & Raves.'"

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.