Pirate steals booty of pills from Walgreens: Avast, ye hearties, and pass the Oxycontin!

We traditionally think of pirates jonesing for barrels of rum -- but not one plunderer in Colorado Springs. This man, adorned in a black wig, a black beard and mustache, and an eye patch, apparently prefers prescription drugs. Which is why he sailed straight to Walgreens...

By Michael Roberts

June 3, 2011

Audio By Carbonatix

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We traditionally think of pirates jonesing for barrels of rum -- but not one plunderer in Colorado Springs.

This man, adorned in a black wig, a black beard and mustache, and an eye patch, apparently prefers prescription drugs. Which is why he sailed straight to Walgreens.

The incident reportedly took place on May 22. A pharmacist spotted the bewigged buccaneer standing in a restricted area filled with pills -- and shortly thereafter, he found himself on the business end of a gun.

Couldn't the guy have at least used a cutlass?

The suspect then presented a bag -- not a treasure chest -- to the pharmacist and ordered him to stuff it with doctor-recommended goodies. Once it was filled, he split (another disappointment) on foot.

This particular Johnny Depp wannabe is described as being about five-feet, nine-inches tall and 150 pounds. If you see him, call the Colorado Springs Police Department at 719-444-7000.

Wonder if he'll be sentenced to walk the plank? Check out larger photos of Blackbeard of Colorado Springs below:

More from our Media archive: "Bat'leth not the only creative weapon for would-be criminals."

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Michael Roberts began his career with Westword in 1990 as music editor. In 1999, he took on a new role, full-time media reporter, as author of a column called The Message. In 2008, he became the lead writer for Westword's news blog, The Latest Word, a position he held until January 2023. Michael continues to freelance for Westword, covering everything from business to sports and the media; he also contributes to Jazziz, a national music magazine. He holds a bachelor's degree from what is now Colorado Mesa University and master's degrees from the University of California, Los Angeles, and Northwestern University.

Contact: Michael Roberts

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