Pirate steals booty of pills from Walgreens: Avast, ye hearties, and pass the Oxycontin!

We traditionally think of pirates jonesing for barrels of rum -- but not one plunderer in Colorado Springs.

This man, adorned in a black wig, a black beard and mustache, and an eye patch, apparently prefers prescription drugs. Which is why he sailed straight to Walgreens.

The incident reportedly took place on May 22. A pharmacist spotted the bewigged buccaneer standing in a restricted area filled with pills -- and shortly thereafter, he found himself on the business end of a gun.

Couldn't the guy have at least used a cutlass?

The suspect then presented a bag -- not a treasure chest -- to the pharmacist and ordered him to stuff it with doctor-recommended goodies. Once it was filled, he split (another disappointment) on foot.

This particular Johnny Depp wannabe is described as being about five-feet, nine-inches tall and 150 pounds. If you see him, call the Colorado Springs Police Department at 719-444-7000.

Wonder if he'll be sentenced to walk the plank? Check out larger photos of Blackbeard of Colorado Springs below:

More from our Media archive: "Bat'leth not the only creative weapon for would-be criminals."
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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts