Pranks for the Memories

When Marvin Heemeyer and his D9 dozer blazed through Granby on a mission from God, he ignited the passions of a nation -- or at least a lot of how-many-crazies-are-there-living-in-Colorado questions. Websites such as celebrated the man with a plan, and entrepreneurial types duped the unsuspecting public into buying unauthorized T-shirts that did not contribute to the Rebuild Granby fund.

But for all the late-show fodder he provided -- not to mention great PR for Caterpillar -- Heemeyer wasn't the only scofflaw making news in the state this summer. While Dozer Day rolled over the current-events competition, there was still plenty to discuss over fences, at coffee shops and cafes, and in what-I-did-on-my-summer-vacation essays. A few of the best police-blotter entries from summer 2004:

July 15

Craig: A caller reported criminal mischief at East Elementary.

July 21

Crested Butte: A 23-year-old was caught urinating in the area of Third and Elk and given a summons.

Crested Butte: A 24-year-old subject was cited for urinating in public. Note from the Crested Butte cops: This is fast becoming the number one alcohol-related offense next to DUI. A solution to both of these problems is to think before you act. These are non-negotiable offenses; we write all without impunity.

July 24

Crested Butte: Police, Fire and EMS responded to several false fire-alarm calls before a real fire appeared on a ridge between the Slate River and Washington Gulch drainages. After some direction and misdirection, crews located and dealt with the illegally burning slash pile. Note from the Crested Butte police: Call before you burn! If you burn down Town or any nearby subdivisions, we can pretty much guarantee you won't get a place at the head of the next parade.

July 30

Craig: A cell phone was reported lost while its owner was fishing on the river.

August 1

Steamboat Springs, 1:32 a.m.: An intoxicated pedestrian trying to flag down traffic was reported on U.S. Highway 40 west of downtown. The man was contacted by police and advised not to jump out at cars, then was given a courtesy ride home.

Steamboat Springs, 7:40 p.m.: A resident in the 40 block of Butcherknife Avenue reported that there might be an intruder at a house next door. Police arrived and found the house vacant.

August 3

Crested Butte: Bear in the 700 block of Butte Avenue.

August 4

Crested Butte: Bear in the 600 block of Second Street.

August 5

La Plata County, 10:49 a.m.: A peeping Tom was reported peeping through a hole at a woman showering in the camper park off County Road 501A.

Crested Butte: Bears in the 300 blocks of Elk and Maroon avenues. Bears in the 700 block of Gothic Avenue.

August 6

Grand Junction: Two golf carts were reported stolen from Tiara Rado Golf Course. The carts were driven around the course, damaging landscaping, until one cart ran out of power and was abandoned near the driving range. The other cart, worth $2,000, was not found.

Grand Junction: Search-and-rescue teams from Mesa and Delta counties found a 77-year-old man who'd been missing for eight hours. The man had been hunting for mushrooms on Grand Mesa with a friend and became lost. More than forty people on foot, in vehicles and in the air worked to find him.

August 8

Durango, 8:08 a.m.: Flowers were taken from a yard in the 200 block of East Fourth Avenue.

Durango, 4:52 p.m.: A drunken man with two others in a park in the 3100 block of East Third Avenue approached a woman and said, "FBI and 4075." He was wearing only boxer shorts and socks.

Bayfield, 6:31 p.m.: A man's ex-wife sold a snowmobile without his permission in the 5400 block of County Road 302.

August 9

Durango, 12:11 a.m.: Twelve men were reported playing basketball in front of a house in the 1600 block of West Third Avenue.

August 10

La Plata County, 4 p.m.: Three mules were reported standing between County Road 510 and U.S. Highway 160B, near Bayfield. The mules were gone when deputies arrived.

August 22

Durango, 12:52 p.m.: A woman in the 2400 block of Arroyo Drive said her neighbor was taking photographs of her.

Grand Junction: A 39-year-old man was arrested after he allegedly tried to steal beer from a City Market store and threatened store employees who detained him.

August 23

Durango, 5:22 p.m.: A man was lying in the weeds in the West 300 block of Park Avenue.

August 24

Bayfield, 2:19 p.m.: Someone reported seeing a suspicious item with a flame at the end and a board with a canister and wires attached to it at the skate park on U.S. Highway 160B. The device was a mosquito collector.

Steamboat Springs, 7:39 a.m.: Two men were reported shooting at varmints with pellet guns by the James Brown Soul Center of the Universe Bridge. The two were given a warning.

August 25

Grand Junction: A stranger punched a fifteen-year-old boy in the face. The incident was classified as "gang-related."

Durango, 8:42 p.m.: A caller complained that skateboarders were hanging out in the Wal-Mart parking lot.

August 30

Steamboat Springs, 10:54 a.m.: A 21-year-old man was arrested for making more than $900 worth of telephone calls to Poland from a hotel room in the 2200 block of Village Inn Court.

And now, as a public service, a tip for anyone heading through Moffat County: Do not speed. Ever. Or let your dog off his leash. The following represents just one day in the life -- Friday, July 23 -- of the Moffat County Sheriff's Office:

12:31 a.m.: Robert E. Lindschmidt, 72, of Windsor, was issued a summons for having a dog at large at 1600 Pelican Lakes Point.

8:12 a.m.: Tania Kaye Stender, 23, of Windsor, was issued a summons for having a dog at large on the sidewalk north of Colorado Highway 392 just west of 16th Street.

9:17 a.m.: Patrick Burton, 58, of Fort Collins, was issued a summons for driving 39 mph in a 30 mph zone in the 100 block of Main Street.

10:11 a.m.: Elizabeth Garcia, 46, of Brighton, was issued a summons for driving 53 mph in a 45 mph zone at Weld County roads 17 and 64.

10:26 a.m.: William R. Morse, 48, of Windsor, was issued a summons for driving 55 mph in a 45 mph zone at Weld County roads 17 and 64.

11:11 a.m.: Tanya Root, 31, of Windsor, was issued a summons for driving 54 mph in a 45 mph zone at Weld County roads 17 and 64.

11:21 p.m.: Annabel Gloria Caballero, 19, of Greeley, was issued a summons for violating a restriction on a temporary instruction permit and displaying an expired temporary permit at 2nd and Main streets.

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Amy Haimerl

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