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While the presidential election is still not decided, Cory Gardner learned his short-term fate shortly after the polls closed in Colorado on November 3: He will not be going back to the U.S. Senate. Former governor, mayor, brewpub owner and geologist John Hickenlooper easily won that contest.
That means the well-groomed man from Yuma will need a new job. While Hickenlooper, with his very varied career, could certainly offer some advice, Teague Bohlen offered his own ideas in “Ten Potential Jobs for Outgoing Senator Cory Gardner.”
And on Westword‘s Facebook page, readers offered plenty of suggestions of their own. Says Derek:
Supercuts spokesmodel.
Offers Robert:
Trump’s POOL BOY!!! Yaasss.
Asks Kyle:
How about a doormat?
Suggests John:
I’m sure that somebody has a barn somewhere where he can shovel shit; that’s what he seems to be good at.
Adds Aubrey:
Used car salesmen since he knows how to lie and bullshit people.
Comments Andrew:
Professional hide-and-seek player would be my suggestion.
Replies Vi:
He will go back to doing nothing, except he will not get paid for it now.
Notes Sam:
He’ll be a lobbyist by tomorrow
But then there’s this from Scott:
Governor.
And Rob concludes:
Perhaps he can get a job writing for Westword, so they could have some intelligent, thoughtful, and informed writing instead of the drivel of this article.
What did you think of the job that Cory Gardner did as a senator? What do you think he should do next? Post a comment or share your thoughts at editorial@westword.com.