Sh*t-covered man hides in porta-potty tank at yoga fest, wanted on unlawful sex contact charge

Remember the hilarious scene from Slumdog Millionaire in which a little boy winds up covered in shit from an outdoor toilet? Betcha one woman will never find it amusing again. That's because when she went to use a porta-potty at a Boulder yoga festival, a man was apparently in the tank beneath her, slathered in waste.

According to the Boulder Daily Camera, the incident took place Friday at the Hanuman Festival. The woman stepped inside the portable john, but when she lifted the toilet's lid, she noticed movement in the depths below.

Unsurprisingly, she got the hell out as quickly as she could and asked a man to check the toilet. He subsequently told cops he saw something moving beneath a tarp in the tank, and when he left the porta-potty, he heard the door lock behind him.

At that point, the fest's security supervisor decided to wait outside for whoever had been lurking in the muck to step back into the light. Shortly thereafter, he was greeted by a strange sight -- a skinny, black-haired white man in his twenties, standing between six-feet-five and six-feet-eight inches tall, with cuts on his back and arms and wearing only a pair of gray sweatpants.

Although the color was probably tough to discern, given that he was soaked in feces.

The security supervisor reportedly tried to get the man to sit down, but he ran off -- and who can blame the guy for not trying to tackle him?

Boulder police are looking for the man, who they want on suspicion of attempting to make unlawful sexual contact. They add that they're not sure how he managed to work his way into the tank. But remember: He was attending a yoga festival. Downward facing dog, maybe?

Oh yeah: Some witnesses think the guy may be a transient who goes by the name "Sky." If so, that moniker probably needs an update.

More from our Colorado Crimes archive: "Sarah Lane busted for outstanding warrant after throwing pita sandwich at cab driver."

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts