Tased and Confused

A Fox 31 reporter and her cameraman were getting into an elevator at the Denver City and County Building this morning when they were approached by a man in a red, zoot-ish suit, who handed them a business card for a tanning spot. The man with the card, who had big curls in his hair and a diamond-studded pin that read "Jesus" across his chest, then walked away.

Inside the elevator, the television reporter told the cameraman that the guy with the card had a tip for them. After the news crew got out, two female Denver Police officers left in the elevator had a tip of their own about the man in the red suit.

"He's some kind of former world-class boxing champion," one officer told the other.

"Who, the guy that gave her the card?" asked the other.

"Yeah, so if he starts acting up at all, just tase the hell out of him." — Luke Turf

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Joel Warner is a former staff writer for Westword and International Business Times. He's also written for WIRED, Men's Journal, Men's Health, Bloomberg Businessweek, Popular Science, Slate, Grantland and many other publications. He's co-author of the 2014 book The Humor Code: A Global Search for What Makes Things Funny, published by Simon & Schuster.
Contact: Joel Warner