PassiveAggressiveNotes.com collects notes, signs and what-not written by folks who are mad as hell about something or other — but they're trying (in vain) not to show it.
As was the case for our previous collections of passive-aggressive notes from Colorado, we discovered lots of passivity that was as aggressive as it could be.
But hilariously so.
Count down our ten favorites below, featuring Colorado-centric text and photos from the site. To visit PassiveAggressiveNotes.com, click here.
Number 10: Every once in a blue moon…
Here’s something we rarely see around here: a happy ending!
Explains Amanda in Fort Collins, Colorado: “Last week, the trailer that lives outside the Food Co-op had its wheel stolen, and they weren’t able to do the food drop-off. Disgruntled, Karen put this sign on the sad, one-wheeled trailer.”
Then, Amanda says, “Three days ago, a man came into the co-op. He walked up to the register and, without saying anything, put a BRAND NEW trailer wheel on the counter. ‘I saw your sign,’ he said. ‘I used to eat at the Mission, but now I don’t need to. I wanted to bring you this.’” Then he walked out.
Number 9: Oh, sure, blame it on the crackhead
Take it from Whitney, kids: “Crack is whack.” (And it makes you an easy scapegoat for pretty much anything and everything.)
From Pueblo, Colorado:
Number 8: Rage in the Shade
Writes our submitter in Denver: “I parked my ’82 VW van in the closest guest spot to my home about a week ago, as I’ve been cleaning it out to sell it. Then I was sick for a few days so I didn’t leave the house. Today I found this on the windshield.”
Number 7: This is why people hate the Millennials
Marijuana Deals Near You
Writes our submitter, a college student in Colorado who I would really like to smack some sense into: “We had a change in professors midway through the semester in my fiction workshop. The new professor does not understand that his class is not the absolute most important thing in the universe.”
So, which jumble o’ jargon would you rip off the wall first?
Or Exhibit B?
Coincidentally, both of these notes come to us from Colorado, apparently the least creative state in the union.
Go ahead and post those speculative explanations regarding The Centennial State’s staggering dearth of originality in the comments below. Then we’ll circle back to brainstorm some synergistic solutions. (“The Centennial State?” Really? It’s like you’re not even trying, Colorado!)
Number 5: Tis the season for KILLER DEALS
Shortly after Denver’s first snowfall of the season, Sharon looked out her window to see her neighbor making a snowman. “I thought he was doing something cute for his girlfriend. Who knew it was actually a frosty political statement about the cold evils of capitalism?”
Number 4: Are you lost?
Apparently everyone is “doing it wrong,” says our submitter in Colorado.
Number 3: On preparing a hide for tanning
Many cultures throughout history have used urine in the process of tanning [animal hides]. As Amanda in Colorado shows us, that tradition continues today among the animals that frequent the tanning salons of America!
Number 2: Thou dost protest too much, methinks
Writes Joe in Denver: “My roommate gets very emotional when someone criticizes him, but will gladly e-mail me or leave notes around the house with dozens of ‘little reminders’” like this one — written after Joe left a broom in the living room overnight.
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Our submitter in Fort Collins, Colorado was a bit taken aback at the site of this local business’s breakroom. “The level of commitment dedicared to naming and creating backstories for the appliances was…mindboggling,” she says.
Indeed, my mind has been boggled.