Unofficial Denver Election Bingo Card to Drink Fear, Frustration Away

We're in for a long election night as Kamala Harris and Donald Trump fight to be the next president. As results come in, drink to this card of cliches. Evan Semón

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It's hard to blame anyone for going off the grid on election night in Colorado, but they're missing one helluva bender as Kamala Harris and Donald Trump fight to be the next president.

Only God and the Illuminati know who's going to win the White House, but as election results come in tonight, November 5, there will be no shortage of clichés and predictable moments. So as candidates, TV anchors, pundits and annoying social media celebrities stick to the same scripts and vocabularies, you might as well empty out the liquor cabinet.

To help you get through a sweaty night full of anxiety and boredom while waiting for updated election results in Denver, we created a drinking bingo game that applies to the presidential race, statewide ballot initiatives and more. Any time one of these phrases or instances occurs on TV or your social media feed, it's time to take a shot, chug or bong toke — we're in Colorado, after all — followed by a glass of water to stay hydrated (because we're in Colorado, after all).

Check out our 2024 Colorado Election Bingo Card below (as well as a downloadable version), and please drown your sorrows responsibly.

click to enlarge

Westword

PDF — Election_Day_Bingo__4_.pdf