Why Colorado Tokers Love Kandy Kush

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I like to consider myself a manly man in most regards — I drink my coffee black, like my beers strong and consider V-necks a stain upon society. But when it comes to marijuana, I’m pretty much a yoga-pants-wearing wimp holding a pumpkin-spice latte: I like my strains sweet, sugary and rich. Seeing a jar labeled “Alien Rock Candy,” “Birthday Cake Kush” or “Vanilla Kush” makes my mouth water as if my mother had just taken a pie out of the oven.

Kandy Kush gets me off like that, too. The sour strain can taste like a box of Lemonheads — but despite its young and innocent name, it can knock out seasoned tokers after a rip or two. Kandy Kush’s parents aren’t quite as sweet, but they’re pretty sexy in their own right: OG Kush and Trainwreck birthed this indica-dominant hybrid (there are some sativa-leaning cuts, but they’re rare), giving Kandy Kush one imposing pedigree.

Although I’ve had more luck finding Kandy Kush on the street in central and northern California than here in Colorado, it’s not a rarity at dispensaries. Kind Love, DANK, L’Eagle, Green Tree Medicinals and the Pig N’ Whistle are just a few of the local pot shops that carry stanky cuts of the strain.

Don’t smoke the Kandy and expect to hike a mountain afterward. Its sedating effects are better suited for stress relief or a night in. And for the Netflix-and-chill crowd, do your “chillin'" before you puff, then turn on the TV: This strain won’t leave you with much energy, no matter how strong your libido is.

Looks: My experience with Kandy Kush has usually involved large, dense and triangular buds, almost cone-shaped. The colors are typically a dominant bright green peppered with orange/tan pistils and possible spots of purple.

Smell: Shocker — it’s sweet! Strong citrus overtones reign supreme, followed by musty, earthy and gassy scents. The pungent combination is a clear, classic representation of its OG and Trainwreck genetics.

Flavor: Double shocker — it’s sweet! Up-front tastes of Trainwreck’s citrus and gassy flavors should be expected, followed by OG’s trademark earthiness. Any good cut of Kandy Kush should leave a sweet aftertaste on the sides of your tongue.

Effects: Great for eating disorders, headaches, stress and simply vegging out for the night, Kandy Kush starts with cerebral, euphoric feelings that are quickly followed by a hazy couch lock. Probably not the best for a wake-and-bake.

Home grower’s take: “My buddy from Sonoma County brought me down some nugs of Kandy in the early 2000s and I pretty much fell in love — so much that I made him send me some seeds of it when he got home. Took me about nine weeks [to flower] them, and the couple clones I’ve gotten since take ten, I think. Decent yielder with big, almost oversized buds, but you don’t grow it for the quantity; you grow it for the high, and it’s a strong one. If I took a nap and messed up my sleep pattern, a joint of this could do the trick.”

Commercial grower’s take: “Classic giggly, glazed-eye strain that makes you want to eat an elephant. A lot like Bubba Kush in its knockout power, but this one doesn’t hit you quite as fast, so at least there’s some time to make a pizza or something before you pass out. It can take a little long to flower; ours takes ten weeks, but I’ve had friends who’ve waited up to twelve. It can get tall and lanky, too, if you let it veg too long, so tie up the branches, or those fat buds can break them.”

Is there a strain you’d like to see profiled? E-mail marijuana@westword.com.

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