Witney Carson Fines Von Miller $100 Per Fart on DWTS

Your Broncos MVP, ladies and gentleman, can't stop passing gas. In a classic Von Miller move, the linebacker and hometown hero told the Dancing With the Stars judges that he has been getting fined for being late and farting too much by his dance partner Witney Carson. The price? A cool $100 per fart. TMI Von.

The same fines apply to being late. As Carson told TV Guide, "I asked him what happens in the NFL when you're late, and he told me. So I said, 'Well, that's exactly what I'm going to do.'" She allegedly got $1,500 from him in late fines alone and has donated it to a melanoma charity dear to her heart.

We are sure the fart money will go to a good cause, too. 

Miller survived elimination on Monday night, but it's obvious the pro athlete might want to take the competition more seriously. On the other hand, the fact that he appears to be all out of fucks is what we love about him. Do you, Von. 

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Lindsey Bartlett is a writer, photographer, artist, Denver native and weed-snob. Her work has been published in Vanity Fair, High Times and Leafly, to name a few.
Contact: Lindsey Bartlett