Audio By Carbonatix
“For the record, I still haven’t killed anyone,” said Barb Kirkmeyer, in acknowledging that her dream of becoming Colorado’s first Republican governor in almost two decades is now dead.
On Thursday, July 9, the longtime public servant — as an appointee of former Gov. Bill Owens, as a Weld County commissioner and as a state senator — conceded that she had lost “what appears to be the closest Republican gubernatorial primary in Colorado history.”
No, Kirkmeyer hasn’t killed anyone. But the death of her campaign could put a stake through the heart of the Colorado Republican Party, after she’d promised that party a clear vision for the future, “one rooted in common sense, hard work, affordability and the values that made Colorado the best place to live, work, and raise a family,” according to her campaign messaging.
Instead, the Colorado Republican Party is now mired in the murky past of the charismatic, “Cajun karate”-touting Victor Marx, teller of tales and director of the nonprofit All Things Possible Ministries. He topped Kirkmeyer by over 2,000 votes, knocking the race outside of automatic recount territory and giving a real gift to the Democratic Party.
Kirkmeyer, with her knowledge of both the state budget and its operations, would have elevated the level of debate with Dem candidate Phil Weiser (as long as discussion stayed away from her involvement in that county-secession movement a decade ago). But heaven only knows what will happen with Marx…if he participates in any debates at all.
While Kirkmeyer had carefully crafted her campaign, Marx rode in out of the wilderness of El Paso County as a man on a mission, a minister who confessed to beheading a cat and killing a man when he was seven. Any killings after that? He won’t say, although he’s backtracked a bit on his claim to have rescued 45,000 women and children from high-risk areas around the globe.
He has not retracted his assertion that he can exorcise demons over the phone, though.
Colorado’s Republican Party will need more than Marx to exorcise its own demons, which have been piling on since Dan Maes led the party’s gubernatorial ticket in 2010 and almost lost its major-party status by barely snagging 10 percent of the vote. Since then, the party has run through a series of crazy leaders and crazier candidates, culminating with Marx.
At a debate last month — the only debate Marx joined, complete with service dog and comments that his opponents were “kinda mean” — Kirkmeyer said that she could not support the “unfit” Marx if he became the Republican Party’s gubernatorial candidate. “Now the voters will make the final decision in November,” she said last night, “and I hope they choose the path that is best for Colorado.”
“Let’s face it, Colorado has changed, and not for the better,” Marx offered in his own statement last night. “But there is hope. We can unite and build a better, stronger Colorado for all of us. This isn’t about a single political party. It’s about a single, unified Colorado! The general election starts now. Let’s go win it together.”
But first, he needs to pick a running mate.
Kirkmeyer is clearly out, but there’s an ideal candidate to mix into this unholy mess: Tina Peters. She’s out of jail, fresh from a visit to the White House on Colorado’s primary day, and unlikely to make any claims of election fraud regarding Marx’s victory.
Let us pray.
