“We Live in an Unserious World, Do Unserious Shit”

Friends of a Denver man who goes by the nickname “the Bovine Baron” were so impressed by his milk consumption that they posted flyers with his phone number around town on April 1, challenging other dairy drinkers to a chug-off.

The flyers were a joke, but enough people texted the Bovine Baron that he decided to go for it. “Yeah, I’m known for drinking milk. That’s kinda my thing,” he told Thomas Mitchell. “So I decided to rise to the challenge.”

The challenge is set for 2:30 p.m. today in Observatory Park. In the meantime, plenty of people are spewing their own thoughts on the Westword Facebook post on the contest. Says Monte:

Damn it, I guess I have to miss the end of the Avs game because of Milk Chug 2026. We live in an unserious world, do unserious shit. May your milk never sour, good sir.

Offers Sean:

Hold my beer…I mean milk…CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Wonders Michael:

Can I eat cake or brownies during this?

Advises Markus:

Make sure there’s lots of TP and Kaeopectate around.

Adds Alec.

I can only imagine all the vomit in that park after this is over.

Observes Connor:

Bro’s bones are never going to break.

Offers Seth:

Looks like he has a full day of challengers. I will go ahead and take the “bye” round and see who is left to shake their hand!

Responds Dorian:

He’s lucky I’m watching Wrestlemania tomorrow, ’cause I’d challenge him.

Concludes Max:

I didn’t realize I wanted to watch grown-ass men puke milk all over the park but here we are, clearing our schedule for the 19th.

What do you think of the chug-off challenge? Will you be there? Post a comment or share your thoughts (and pictures!) at editorial@westword.com.