The good news for the guy who suffered a heart attack while eating a Triple Bypass Burger at the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas is that the restaurant's gimmick -- besides the insanely mega-calorie menu offerings -- is requiring its customers to wear hospital gowns while dining, so he was good to go. The bad news is, you know, the heart attack. (No word on whether the Triple Bypass led to a triple bypass.) But at least he survived, and that fact alone will save him from permanent canonization in the annals of ironic food-related deaths. The following five people were not so lucky.
5. Mama Cass dies (not actually) choking on a ham sandwich In the hours following the death of Mama Cass Eliot, the Mamas & the Papas' notoriously obese lead singer, examining physician Anthony Greenburgh theorized the Mama Cass was killed by choking on a ham sandwich that was near the bed where she died, inadvertently creating one of the most smug soundbites of "poetic justice" of all time. The irony? The sandwich was untouched -- there's no way it was the cause of her death. The double-irony? The cause of her death was complications from obesity.
4. Vitamin advocate dies of too many vitamins Nevertheless, the healthy should refrain from too much smugness, because being healthy isn't always... healthy. Back in the '70s, when the health-nut boom was just beginning to hit its stride, serious vitamin-A advocate Basil Brown upped the ante by drinking nearly ten gallons of carrot juice over a ten-day period, apparently hoping to achieve a god-like state of vitamin-A saturation by chugging roughly 10,000 times the recommended dose. He got there. The glut of vitamin-A poisoned him, and he died of acute liver failure a short time later.
3. Organic food advocate dies while talking about the benefits of organic food on TV Jerome Rodale was a playwright and author, but he made his name as an early hype-man of organic farming, which he appeared on the Dick Cavett Show in 1971 to discuss. During that interview, he told Cavett that "I'm in such good health I fell down a flight of stairs yesterday and laughed all the way," and also that "I feel like living to 100." Alas, it was not to be. In fact, immediately following the interview, Rodale died. On tape. Take that, organic food-eaters.
2. Woman with nut allergy dies eating Nutella This one is more tragic than the others on this list, but it's no less ironic. Hen Efrat, who had a severe nut allergy, ordered the Belgian waffle with chocolate topping from a Tel Aviv restaurant, making sure to confirm with the waitress that the chocolate spread did not contain nuts -- and even after telling the waitress that even a little bit of nuts would kill her, she was assured it did not. The waffle was served. Efrat died. Guess what the chocolate spread was? Fucking Nutella.
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Woman dies drinking dog sperm Sean McDonnell of Ireland had a thing for bestiality, and, via the wonders of the internet, he found a partner to share his fetish. He invited the woman over. He invited her to give his dog a blow-job. She accepted that invitation. Less than two hours later, she was dead. The culprit: an ultra-rare allergy to -- wait for it -- dog sperm, which is of course an allergy almost everyone else in the world would have been utterly unaffected by. But just to be sure, go ahead and add that to your list of reasons not to drink dog sperm.