4

Pizza Hut stuffs its crust with hot dogs -- but only Brits get a taste

^
Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

Hot dog! Pizza Hut is now offering pizzas with crusts stuffed with hot dogs and garnished "with a mustard drizzle." Sadly, it is only offering these pizzas in the United Kingdom. What the hell, Hut?! Don't Americans deserve a mustard drizzle, too? Pizza Hut, you were born here in the States, and we've loved you through good times and bad. We eat your buffalo wings and breadsticks, we put up with your lackluster salad bar and pretend to love your pasta, we humor you when you give us things like the P'zone.

We forgave you when you put Rush Limbaugh in a commercial in 1995.

We didn't scream too loud when you took away the Chicago Dish and Sicilian pizzas, and we understand that you can't break up with Pepsi, so we're willing to skip Coke products from time to time. We consistently overlook the fact that your meat toppings are so salty that our kidneys cry out for redress every time we call you for a delivery order.

So how, in good conscience, can you give the Brits a pizza stuffed with hot dogs and not share it with us? We want a pizza with hot dogs crammed in the crust -- and we deserve it. What about our needs?

Of course, it's highly possible that your teaser tidbits about the forbidden hot dog pizza are only designed to make us beg, and you've always planned to offer it here, too. But in the meantime, can we work something out? Maybe some sort of a pie-amory arrangement that gives everyone what they want?

We are willing to share. Let's go to dinner and discuss it -- we can have pizza.

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.