Fashion Crimes

The hipsters of Monolith

By Aubrey Shoe
Sep 14, 2008

Slide show Plenty of people had a fashion statement to make at last weekend's Monolith festival. Don't believe me? Check out the slide show and vote for your favorite hipster. Nothing like watching all the hipsters trying to out hip each other...
This shop has a captive audience

By Patricia Calhoun
Sep 8, 2008

It’s not easy to shop at my favorite store. It has no website, and takes no credit cards. It’s also almost 900 miles away – in Deer Lodge, Montana, which just happens to be home to the Montana State Prison. And that’s where the contents of this store come from...
These Crocs were made for walking...if nothing more.

By Patricia Calhoun
Aug 29, 2008

Colorado is all over this week's New Yorker, which not only has a piece on Denver, but this diss on Crocs in the opening graph of "Sole Sisters": Boys have cars, girls have shoes -- nineteen pairs, on average, according to a Consumer Reports poll. And so: I'll take a...
Fashionable anarchists create "Defend Denver" T-shirt for the DNC

By Jared Jacang Maher
Aug 13, 2008

You've got to fight for your right to wear cool protest shirts. A few local anarchists who are helping to coordinate planned disruptions of the Democratic National Convention have been raising funds by selling off these spiffy “Defend Denver” T-shirts. I picked one up myself after being approached by the...
WTF Project Runway?!?

By Aubrey Shoe
Jul 31, 2008

Words cannot even begin to describe my disappointment last night when Kenley won the challenge. Look at that dress! Just look at it! I bet when you first saw the photo you might have guessed that it was the ultimate loser of the night, but no, it was actually the...
Crocs and the Crushed Toe Look

By Aubrey Shoe
Jul 23, 2008

Just in time for the summer rush, Crocs is going to start warning customers about the dangers of riding an escalator while wearing their flimsy, colorful plastic footwear. Avid readers will recall that we issued an appropriately Cassandra-like alert on gruesome Croc-related escalator accidents more than a year ago. Crocs...
Saved By The Bra

By Aubrey Shoe
Jun 24, 2008

Coloradans sure are getting inventive with their undergarments this summer. First, we had the Thong Bandits who wore women's thongs over their faces in an attempt to conceal their identity during a robbery in Arvada. Then there was the priest caught jogging naked in Greeley who seemed to spur a...
Douchebags on Display

By Cory Casciato
Jun 23, 2008

It's an experience most every guy can relate to -- spotting an absolutely stunning girl hanging off the arm of, well, a complete and utter douchebag. You know the type: overly gelled hair, fugly tattoos, spray-on Cheeto-hued tan, ridiculous bling hanging everywhere... Well, one man has made the study of...
Fashion or Driving: The Teen Dilemma

By Aubrey Shoe
Jun 11, 2008

This just in: America’s teenagers are not using their own money to pay off debt. Well, I, for one, never would have guessed. Maybe that’s surprising to The Allstate Foundation and Junior Achievement, who compiled a survey on teen spending habits, but to everyone with a kid under the age...
That Thong Th Thong Thong Thong

By Aubrey Shoe
Jun 9, 2008

Call the fashion police. Wearing thong underwear is now officially a crime. When you wear it on your face, anyway. Last week, we detailed the capers of the Arvada "Thong Bandits" in this blog, and only two days later the Denver Post reported that one of the men had been...
Bandit Fashion Watch

By Aubrey Shoe
Jun 3, 2008

Here's a fashion crime of a whole new kind. On May 16, these two men, now dubbed the "thong bandits," robbed a gas station in Arvada. For their caper, one man had donned a green thong, while the other wore a blue thong over his face. With so many cute...
A Person’s Right to Choose

By Sean Cronin
Jan 14, 2008

Not too long ago, a dear friend of mine (Let’s call her something fabulous like… “Bianca”) called me up in hysterics. It seemed that her boyfriend of over a year (Let’s call him “Big Fat Jack Ass) had fallen out of love with her and decided it best to break...
Defective Jeans

By Patricia Calhoun
Dec 12, 2007

When I moved to Colorado, I took a job as a server at Gunther Toody’s. I lasted one week. Why such a short-lived serving career, you ask? The answer to that question is two-fold. Reason one: Three days into my training, I was tested on the menu. One of the...
Camobooty -- For Manly Hunters Who Want Boobs on their Chest

By Joel Warner
Nov 29, 2007

A modest television commercial proposal for Camobooty, the Denver-based fashion craze that’s currently sweeping the nation: FADE IN: Two burly hunters, STEW and LEW, are lying on the forest floor, their rifles at the ready. LEW: Darn it, Stew, there’s somethin’ different ’bout you today. Like you got yourself a...
Don't Be A Fan-shion Disaster!

By Sean Cronin
Oct 9, 2007

I am a sports fan. I am not one of those girls who throws on a baseball hat who can't name any of the players on her "favorite" team. I understand the sports “fashion” draw. When attending a Broncos game, I have painted my face, stomach and even worn a...
Are you f*cking kidding me!?!

By Sean Cronin
Oct 8, 2007

US Weekly recently came out with the “25 Most Stylish New Yorker’s” list. Among the lucky few were Tim Gunn, Stephen Colbert, Stacy London, Natalie Morales, etc., but as I was scrolling through the few and the proud I came across someone so astounding, a little of my breakfast actually...