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Top five celebrities Mistress Saskia would sodomize if she could

5. Vin Diesel.

"He's pretty openly bi, so I have a feeling he'd like it. And he is a damn good-looking man."

4. Bill Maher. "I wanna see if I can pound him hard enough that he would say 'Oh, my GOD!' because he's an atheist."

3. Ann Coulter.

"Because I would love to give her a 'dirty Sanchez.' I'm tired of just doing it with a magic marker on a magazine -- and she's overdue for one."

2. Willem Dafoe.

"He looked really, really good cross-dressed at the end of Boondock Saints."

1. Simon Adebisi from Oz.

"I love him in Oz, and I love that little knit beanie he wears. I want to pound him hard enough to see what it would take to make it fall off."

Honorable mention: Charleton Heston.

"I just want to hear him say "Damn dirty apes!"

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