Country music's ten biggest douchebags
Mainstream country music gets an unfair rap as being universally over-polished and formulaic, a notion that artists like Kacey Musgraves and Eric Church obliterate every time they strap on their guitars. But there's a granule of truth to the stereotype, and a particularly damaging subgenre -- known as "bro-country" -- is lending it far too much credibility right now. In light of a certain artist occasionally known as Chris Gaines' announcement this morning about his impending announcement, we thought we'd take the chance to call out the worst offenders.
Booze, chicks, jacked-up pickups, extreme redneck sports, spring break -- artists like Luke Bryan, Florida Georgia Line and even Blake Shelton are leaning way too heavily on such themes in their music these days, and the entire trope can be summed up in one word: douchey. Yet bro-country isn't the only brand of 'baggery currently afflicting Nashville. No, douchebags are a diverse lot, and here are the ten biggest 'bags currently cranking out (s)hits in Music City today:
Courtesy of the label Toby Keith Courtesy of the label Charles Kelley Ram Country Dan + Shay Courtesy of the label Chris Gaines/Garth Brooks
|Courtesy of the label|
6. Jerrod Niemann Niemann has never really done anything offensive, other than letting the awful rapper Pitbull remix his hit single "Drink to That All Night." Yet that lone act is so utterly douche-picable that it lands him squarely at No. 6.
Courtesy of the label Taylor Swift Courtesy of the label Kenny Chesney Republic Nashville Florida Georgia Line
|Courtesy of the label|
2. Luke Bryan The pretty-faced, nasal-voiced standard-bearer for bro-country, Bryan puts out a spring-break-themed EP every year and dutifully plays a free annual show for blacked-out throngs of Florida revelers who are unlikely to remember a single verse. While he's only a collaborator on Florida Georgia Line's "This Is How We Roll," Bryan's own "That's My Kind of Night" was accurately lambasted by Zac Brown as the worst song ever -- although Bryan's breakout 2011 hit, "Country Girl (Shake It for Me)," gives it a run for its money. Also, he recently fell off the stage while covering a Macklemore song in concert. Nice one, bro. Not the fall, the fact that he was covering Macklemore in the first place.
Courtesy of the label Rascal Flatts
Follow the writer, who writes frequently about good country music for No Depression, on Twitter @mdseely.
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