U.S. Department of Defense
Audio By Carbonatix
Colorado ranks in the top ten states for UFO sightings, with residents reporting everything from unidentified objects over Red Rocks to spaceships leaving behind mutilated cattle to even “fire in the sky” (thanks, John Denver).
But a flying potato?
On May 8, the Department of War started releasing fresh Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena (UAP) reports, as President Donald Trump proclaimed that “people can decide for themselves, ‘WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?’”
On June 12, the U.S. government dumped another load of documents regarding UAP sightings, including a report from a sighting in February 2022, when a former Army intelligence officer at Fort Carson and four members of his unit spotted a giant “potato” over Cheyenne Mountain.
The day was warm, with a “blue bird” sky … and a mysterious object.
“The witnesses describe the object as roughly the size of a large jet and resembling an angular, non-symmetrical potato made of uneven panels,” a DOD report noted, adding that the spud “was completely stationary about 300-500 feet above” the mountains. It cast no shadow below, and disappeared within minutes.
Two years later, one of the witnesses detailed the sighting for the FBI, which called in a forensic sketch artist to draw what he’d seen. According to the heavily-redacted FBI report, the “perfectly still” spud was “made up of what can best be described as articulating fish scales or panels that were non-symmetrical, non-overlapping, and irregular shaped,” that shifted “in slow waves starting at different points of origin but at the same time.”
The initial UAP dump didn’t include any flying food items, but did cite a 12-foot floating cylinder in Germany in 1945 and “super hot” hovering orbs in the U. S. in 2025. On “Breakthrough Hours,” a Christian podcast airing May 8, U.S. Rep. Lauren Boebert offered her own assessment of the sightings.
“What I’ve seen, I wouldn’t put it as a ‘Marvin the Martian’ kind of thing, but I do believe that this is more spiritual and, if you really want to go there, demonic,” Boebert said. “I don’t think that they are aliens as we have thought for most of our lives.”
The government had its own theory for the UAP potato, suggesting that “the positioning of the sun in relation to Cheyenne Mountain would allow for backscattering of sunlight reflecting off snow-covered ground” and that “reflection could illuminate low-level clouds in the vicinity.”
But it also noted there was “low confidence” in that explanation.
The truth is out there. So get out the tinfoil for your hat…and wrap up this half-baked spud sighting.
