Colorado Politician
Who doesn't love poking fun at politicians? You could wear some Dad sneakers — preferably New Balance — and a suit to pull off Governor Jared Polis (bonus points for a partial bald cap), but there are even more options for Representative Lauren Boebert. Find a fake hand to strap over your chest while you carry a vape and a Beetlejuice poster (your partner could dress as Beetlejuice himself, too) or wear a black bikini and paste a temporary tribal tattoo across your side. Mayor Mike Johnston would be an easy one, embracing what staff writer Catie Cheshire calls "Colorado fancy": A light blue button-up with khakis or blue jeans and his signature Denver belt buckle. "Basically, Johnston dresses like every other white, 24-55-year-old man in Denver who works an office job," she wrote in a profile last year.
Molly Brown
Why be slutty when you can be historical? Molly Brown is a Denver hero who never gets enough love. Deck yourself out in pearls and a fabulous Victorian dress, and party like a socialite from the early twentieth century. The reference is just hipster enough to impress your friends, and if any buffoon asks who you are, just tell them you're Kathy Bates from Titanic. Bonus tip: Drench yourself in water, and spend the night telling everyone you're unsinkable.
Casa Bonita Staff
The pink and white tower on Colfax brings back all the adventure and memories of childhood birthday parties, even though now you'd need a far-in-advance reservation to make that happen. Haven't we all aspired to be one of the death-defying divers? Get together a group of friends and be the Casa Bonita gang, and maybe even bring some union picket signs. Bonus tip: Hand out sopaipillas wherever you go.
The neighs have it.
Flydenver
If you'd like to opt out of the traditional zombie or vampire and choose a more frightening option, costume yourself as Denver International Airport's official greeter, the unbeloved Blucifer, aka "Mustang," the red-eyed sculpture that killed its own creator, sculptor Luis Jiménez, in a freak accident. Don't forget the blazing red contacts!
"I See What You Mean" features a giant, curious blue bear.
Marvin Anani
Denver has no lack of iconic statues. Dress up like a big, blue bear and constantly lean over, peering into windows like Lawrence Argent's "I See What You Mean" bear at the Colorado Convention Center. Or dress in all white with a friend, and spend the night running around each other and posing like the dancers in the DCPA Sculpture Park. Go even more abstract by grabbing your significant other and dressing as Claes Oldenburg's giant broom-and-dustpan sculpture "Big Sweep," at the Denver Art Museum. Other couple costumes? One can dress as a pinto horse while another can construct a bright-red chair to wear to make up "The Yearling," outside the Denver Public Library.
Photo by SAMS Solutions on Unsplash
The real super-villains terrorizing the streets of Colorado are workers donning fluorescent orange vests, moving at glacial speed and occupying the majority of vital Denver roads, ruining your morning commute and adding stress wrinkles to your forehead. Everyone has one particular pet peeve regarding roadwork, especially while traversing Broadway. Work through your frustration, and embrace the old adage, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Bonus tip: Buy a ROAD WORK sign, and devote the night to getting in everyone's way.
Denver Broncos fans have had a lot to cheer about since the team played its first game in 1960, but there's been plenty of heartbreak, too.
Brandon Marshall
Emo Denver Broncos or Rockies Fan
Just when we think this is finally our year, the team lets us down. Let go of your optimism and embrace the hopelessness. Choose any jersey and spend the night wallowing about how close they were to winning it all — or how far any post-season success seems. Just make sure to match it with plenty of black eyeliner. Retro Denver Commercials
Denver businesses have a knack for creating wacky commercial characters that have been ingrained in our memories. There's the gang at Rocky's Autos, Jake Jabs from American Furniture Warehouse, Dealin' Doug, "Strong Arm" Frank Azar or the Natural Grocers spokeswoman. Transport yourself back to a time before we could fast-forward through commercials, and deck yourself out as a beloved Denver commercial icon.
This was originally posted in October 2013 and has been updated.
