Ten Things to Do This Valentine's Day That Don't Suck

Do whatever your heart desires this Valentine's Day.
Do whatever your heart desires this Valentine's Day. Flickr/Angelica Fox
Valentine's Day is synonymous with overpriced dinners, predatory jewelry vendors and men on street corners selling oversized teddy bears. Break the mold this year with something new. Whether you're partnered or not, there's sure to be something on this list to spare you from chocolate and clichés. Behold: ten Valentine's Day activities that don't suck.

click to enlarge This guy would make an excellent boyfriend. - FLICKR/TIIA MONTO
This guy would make an excellent boyfriend.
Flickr/Tiia Monto
Let Go: Meditation With Horses
9:30 to 11 a.m.
Medicine Horse Program
People let you down this Valentine's Day? If you're feeling particularly misanthropic this year, consider hanging out with someone who's guaranteed not to judge you and not to say anything stupid  — or say anything at all. The rescue horses at Boulder's Medicine Horse Program are used in equine-assisted therapy, including this ninety-minute meditation practice that includes elements of qigong, mindfulness and breath control. Drop in to the event for just $15; visit the Medicine Horse Program online for more information on the best first date you'll ever have.

Valentine's Day at the Range
10 a.m. to 8 p.m.
Bristlecone Shooting, Training and Retail Center
Get your adrenaline flowing at an unexpected place this Valentine's Day — the shooting range. Take your baby out (or pretend you're taking out your no-good baby daddy) for a singular date; Lakewood's Bristlecone is running an all-day special to celebrate that special love between a couple and their firearms. You'll get handgun rental, ammo and an hour of lane time for two for just $45, half off the regular price, and 30 percent off your bill at nearby Westrail Tap & Grill for the rest of the day. Check out the deal's details on Facebook, and remember to always don ear and eye protection before your date (that's just common sense).

click to enlarge There's more to Valentine's Day than roses at the Denver Botanic Gardens. - WESTWORD FILE PHOTO
There's more to Valentine's Day than roses at the Denver Botanic Gardens.
Westword file photo
Love Potions From the Vine
3 to 4 p.m.
Denver Botanic Gardens
Get all hot and bothered at this tour of Boettcher Tropical Conservatory, where steaming up the windows isn't frowned upon at all — in fact, it's inevitable. For $14 (less if you're a student or member of the Botanic Gardens), you'll get a tour of plants that have been used as aphrodisiacs and stimulated lovers'...imaginations...for years. There won't be a refrigerated rose in sight, just lush tropical plants along with some scandalous secrets about botanical sex. Secure your spot on the tour by visiting the Botantic Gardens online, and start the night off right.

Typewriter Poet Michael Prince
4 to 7 p.m.
Want to get someone's attention this Valentine's Day? Skip the unsolicited dick pics and increasingly desperate right swipes in favor of something that's stood the test of time: Passionate poetry has been doing the trick for centuries, and in an era when stringing together more than three words in a text message is considered the height of literacy, a poem — on a piece of paper, no less — might just enthrall (or baffle) the object of your affection to the point of speechlessness. Enter guerilla poet Michael Prince, who will take to his typewriter and compose a verse based on any theme your heart desires for $10. BookBar's website has the details.
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Amy Antonation knows that street tacos are infinitely superior to tacos that come covered in squiggles of crema, and she will stab you with her knitting needles if you try to convince her otherwise.
Contact: Amy Antonation