Dear Mexican: What do you think would happen if U.S. citizens could buy land and set up businesses in Mexico as easily as Mexicans can in the U.S.? Might that be a big boost to the Mexican economy? There are provisions in the Mexican Constitution that prevent this, but what…

Dear Mexican: I recently went to a Los Angeles Dodgers game. There are always rivalries in any sport, of course, pero the white people cheering for the St. Louis Cardinals clapped and cheered when their team did something good. When the Dodgers did good, the Mexican fans — mostly homeboys…

Dear Mexican: This might be a seasonal question, but why do Mexicans like swimming in their clothes? Is it a Catholic thing? I remember my pocho Catholic cousin even bathed at home in his T-shirt and underwear through his adolescence. He claims the nuns told him it was a sin…

Dear Mexican: First it was the Native Americans, then the blacks, then the Japanese. For a while, Muslims. Now I fear that American prejudice will soon overwhelm Mexicans. It’s one thing to be called a dirty Jap or border-hopper, but is it possible that America will cause another ethnic group…

Dear Mexican: I’m a Mexican-American, but I always lie and tell people my ancestors were from Spain and immigrated to the United States in the 1920s. My whole family says this. We feel embarrassed if we tell people that our heritage is Mexican because Mexicans in the USA are so…

Dear Readers: My recent column regarding the dissimilarities between Scots and Mexicans provoked a surprising number of responses — both from Irish readers and real Scotsmen furious that letter writer Great Scot could be so pendejo. Here are two: Dear Mexican: I thought the Mexican’s analysis was right on with…

Dear Mexican: Whenever I see the television show COPS, the white folks pull over and hope no one searches anything where there are at least three syringes, one crack pipe and enough pills to make CVS Pharmacy look like a corner drugstore. The black folks are being pulled over for…

Dear Mexican: Consider the similarities between my people, the Celtic Scots, and yours, the Hispanic Mexicans. For centuries, we, too, tried to hold out against our larger and more powerful neighbor. The big difference is that eventually we realized that being uneducated barbarians was no way to beat the English,…

Dear Mexican: Lately I’ve been hearing how punks and metalheads in Mexico are trying to beat up emos because it’s been said that emos make Mexican culture look bad. As a metalhead, I support this, because I don’t see the point in being emo since they are very sensitive and…

Dear Mexican: Our customer-service department uses a phone-tree system that asks callers to press 1 for English, 2 for Spanish, and a few other numbers for commonly spoken languages in our area. I handle customer complaints as part of my job, and I get a surprising number of complaints from…

Dear Mexican: On my desk is a levy from the Internal Revenue Service for over $12,000 in unpaid taxes. Turns out some dude used my Social Security number for two years in Albuquerque and didn’t bother to pay taxes. It’s taken me plenty in time and attorney’s fees to figure…

Dear Mexican: Why are indigenous peoples from north of the Rio Grande called redskins and those from south of it called brown-skinned?El Hijo del Paleface Dear Gabacho: “Redskin” dates back to the sixteenth century, but its etymology is still being debated. Some historians say it’s a reference to scalping, others…

Dear Mexican: I’m a gay man in his mid-thirties who has always loved Mexican men. And this question is not only from my experience, but also that of friends: Why is it that Mexican men are so flaky? They seem the top offending ethnicity in this. And by flaky, I…

Dear Mexican: I am an illegal alien who just turned eighteen. Is there anything I can do to become a legal alien besides deportation or marrying a U.S. citizen?Wetback Who Wants to Dry His Back Dear Wab: Go back to Mexico — seriously. Section 212(a)(9)(B)(iii)(I) of the United States Immigration…

Dear Mexican: Mexicans are angry that the United States might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely. Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these Mexicans. Let’s say I break into your house. Let’s say…

Dear Mexican: Why do Mexicans have padrinos for everything?The Godfather Fan Dear Wab: Many gabachos have long wondered about the galaxy of godparents who surround Mexicans from birth to death, but it’s no misterio. Ostensibly, godparents (padrino is a godfather, madrina is a godmother, and padrinos means “godparents”) are individuals…

Dear Mexican: Why won’t Mexicans vote for a black man?Hillary Hater Dear Readers: Dozens of ustedes have sent the above question since the Iowa caucus, forwarded mainstream media reports on this supposed phenomenon, and cringed with me when pundits took as gospel this assertion by Hillary Clinton pollster Sergio Bendixen…

Dear Mexican: Why do you suppose Mexico has such a hard time getting its act together? It has vast natural resources, good climate, natural ports, super-generous and good-looking neighbors, and plenty of laborers who seem to be willing to do all sorts of crappy jobs. But instead of having a…

Dear Mexican: My parents were Greeks who legally immigrated to the United States in 1920. When it became harder for Greeks to immigrate, they began to jump ship in New York. My father referred to them as “bananas — fresh off the boat,” but it was mostly an affectionate name…

Dear Mexican: After working with Mexicans for years, I have noticed that Mexican men have a double standard when it comes to homosexuality. Why is it that the “giver” is not regarded as being just as gay as the “receiver”?El Vaquero Dear Cowboy Gabacho: I think all heterosexual societies condemn…

Dear Readers: Mucho feedback from ustedes regarding recent questions about archetypal Mexican dogs and the propensity of wabs to DUI. Let’s empezar with the doggies: Dear Mexican: You’re right about Chihuahuas. Crazy, tough dogs. I’m a dog rescuer (www.geocities.com/st-roch), and we once found a Chihuahua in a box by the…

Dear Mexican: At a weekly Doors tribute-band gig, I’ve noticed that the majority of the crowd is Mexican. I swear, sometimes it seems like the crowd missed the exit to the Lupillo Rivera show or a Maná concert. Never realized that Jim Morrison was the equal of Morrissey and Charles…