Three words: Cheerleaders racing go-karts. Actually, that might be four words, depending on whether you count “go-karts” as one word or two, but those words provide a very good reason to attend the Denver Broncos Cheerleaders’ Calendar Release Party and Race to Keep Kids on Track. Don’t be fooled by…
It’s an old cliche that Americans were promised things like flying cars, jet-packs and dehydrated ice cream in the new millennium, and gosh dang it, we only got the one. And even worse, it turns out regular ice cream is better. Well, rest easy, because we’re making progress, it seems…
If you’ve ever wanted to physically throw something at a blackface depiction of Barack so racist it’s almost vaudevillian, and you live in Seaside Heights, NJ, where The Jersey Shore is filmed, then good news! You can. A boardwalk game called “Walkin Charlie” offers up Obama, along with such luminaries…
If summer is the definitive time for oddball Americana like hot dog-eating contests and the world’s biggest cheese ball, then in doesn’t get much summerier than a rodeo that features alligators. At the Colorado Gators Reptile Park, just north of Alamosa, that is exactly what you’ll get over the weekend…
The PR tag said it all: “If Pirates are bad and Vampires are worse, then pray you never meet the Vampirates.” I was already swooning over the needless capitalization of common nouns, but the portmanteau brilliantly combining “vampire” and “pirates” — which I could hardly believe nobody had thought of…
Nobody makes the distinction better than Encyclopedia Dramatica: The Internet is where normal people go to find things out — to get business info or the news. The information superhighway, if you will. The internetz is like the landfill beneath that — a nerd-dominated repository of all things filthy, wonderously…
The waiter spills coffee on your white shirt. Your boyfriend, startled by your sudden entry into the room behind him, whips around and accidentally pegs you in the eye. You put your car in the wrong gear and back into the car behind you. These embarrassing gaffes happen to everybody…
Like so many, it started out such a promising career. Coming up from humble beginnings as a Hispanic stand-up comic and radio host, George Lopez seemingly appeared from nowhere in the early 2000s in a number of very credible roles: the star of his own Hispanic-centric sitcom, supporting roles in…
This is distinctly American music. Working with a lineup that’s fluctuated between six and ten and has included members of Jurassic 5, Ozomatli has for some fifteen years been blending Latin rhythms and hip-hop influences for a sound that’s as big as it is varied and multicultural. The U.S. State…
Working retail downtown is not always pretty. From the throngs of clueless tourists to the weirdos and freaks that hang around to the generally thankless tasks, it can be a grind. To honor those brave men and women who day in and day out sling our coffee and clean up…
Some people just stand out. Whether their style is cutting-edge, quirky or just well-executed, they make you want to know: How do they do it? Because we work for you, we’re finding out. Each day, we’ll hit the streets and talk to one person who catches our eye and makes…
We could all use a second chance sometimes. From everyday schmoes to high-powered television producers, everyone’s looking for a way to capitalize just one more time on one flimsy yet extremely profitable premise or other. Or maybe that’s just the television producers. Either way, the execs over at ABC are…
It’s Monday, and, like Garfield, you hate Mondays. Also like Garfield, the only thing that can cheer you up on a Monday is either lasagna or a good laugh at the misfortune of others. We can’t give you any lasagna, but we can give you the second thing, in the…
And we thought Bob Saget goofing on molesting Kimmy Gibler from Full House was troubling. That’s nothing, apparently. In a bizarre email addressed to “Tracy Morgan ticket buyers,” Comedy Works went so far as to warn show-goers that the performance is “the most extreme in nature that we can possibly…
When the breakfast-themed kids’ play area at Cherry Creek Mall closed for a makeover July 28, General Manager Nick LeMasters told KDVR Fox 31 that parents would be “surprised and amazed beyond their wildest imagination” by the new design of the Rocky Mountain Play Park, which, as it turns out,…
Laurence Fishburne is sad. It’s understandable: Probably anyone would be sad if their daughter announced she was making a porno, and they’d probably be even sadder she explained it this way: “I’ve watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release…
If you were to walk up to us over here at Westword while we were partying, and you were to say something like, “Sir, I will pay you a large sum of money to mess around right now,” there is no doubt that we would staunchly refuse your offer, however…
How’s this for a hoary old marketing ploy: It’s the third in its series, so there’s a “3” at the end of the name, but wait… now there’s a dash… and a “D”… but what does it… O shit it’s also in 3-D! It’s almost like Hollywood is somehow contract-stipulated…
Some people just stand out. Whether their style is cutting-edge, quirky or just well executed, they make you want to know: How do they do it? Because we work for you, dear reader, we’re finding out. Each day, we hit the streets and talk to one person who catches our…
When most of us think of The Wizard of Oz, we generally think about Victor Fleming’s iconic 1939 film. Or maybe we think of L. Frank Baum’s original book, or, if we’re theater buffs, we might think of Tim Kelly’s popular stage adaptation. That last one was the one the…
It was an ingenious idea — so straightforward it was almost forehead-slappingly intuitive: Comment on the dysmorphic appearance of extensive plastic surgery patients by monoprinting realist portraits of them on Silly Putty. “I can’t believe nobody’s done it before,” says Lori Kanary, the artist responsible. But as far as she…
Some people just stand out. Whether their style is cutting-edge, quirky or just well executed, they make you want to know: How do they do it? Because we work for you, dear reader, we’re finding out. Each day, we hit the streets and talk to one person who catches our…
