Would combining Jesus Christ and used car sales be considered an unholy alliance? Apparently not at “Freedom Autos” on Federal Blvd. Jesus Christ’s bigger billing on the street sign (pictured right) and his promise to set you free, almost makes the freedom offered by used-car ownership seem evil. It is…
World famous wrap-artist Christo is in Denver tonight to drum up support for his Arkansas River cover-up project. The sold-out Seawell Ballroom event kicks off a four-city lecture series announcing the 45-day public comment period required after the BLM releases the environmental impact statement of the project on July 15…
Brightonator Real Name: Teri G. Sanchez; Occupation: Empire Builder; Suburb of Operations: Brighton; Hair: Electric; Eyes: Bright Suburban superhero skills: Brightonator is a mutant with the superhuman ability to brighten the lives of all the people she coordinates at the Small Business Assistance Center of the Brighton Learning and Resource…
The study of neighbors through their lawn decoration … Figure 67. South Park Hill: Trunk show of bear trees and blue sky. Tree removal anywhere in the metro area is bound to make a house look more bear, and the home pictured below shows the yard-artistic differences between Northglenn and…
Move over Blues Brothers, Colorado’s Bounty Brothers are traveling the world to clean up the criminal element for Christ! For over a decade, Gary Brooks Faulkner and Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman had worked the crime circuits of Mexico and Pakistan, hunting for separate scofflaws. Each was a seasoned veteran of bounty-huntertainment…
The study of neighbors through their gay lawn decorations … The two female figures pictured in the foreground of the image to the right (click to enlarge) are forever locked with outstretched lips to symbolize a lesbian’s languorous longing for love. We know that these are lesbians because the yard…
Politicians and tarot decks are amazingly similar. Both were created for trick-taking games, and both are largely used by the foolhardy to foretell the future. In this week’s Westword, Kenny Be draws tarot cards for Colorado’s politicians. See the full cartoon on the Latest Word blog…
The Deepwater Horizon oil spill off the coast of Louisiana is currently called a “disaster,” but that will change with time. Because Americans love petroleum more than life itself, they will no doubt find a way to turn this catastrophe into cash. Imagine Carnival’s pirate-themed cruises through flaming seas and…
Note: This story cartoon will appear in this week’s issue of Westword. Politicians and tarot decks are amazingly similar. Both were created for trick-taking games, and both are largely used by the foolhardy to foretell the future. The personalities of Colorado’s most widely known politicians correspond remarkably well to the…
The study of neighbors through their lawn decorations… Figure 65. Northglenn: Tree-generated animation of Boo Boo ad Yogi Bear leafs out the pic-a-nic basket. The tornadoes and hailstorms that plague Denver’s northern suburbs often leave gardeners of the area wondering how to decorate the stumps and twigs that are left…
There is nothing quite as pure as the love of a coach for a promising new player. The Tim Tebow-Josh McDaniels man-crush that has been recorded in recent news conferences is about to go live. These fervent football refrains will be proffered at the Broncos Bunch Summer Kickoff Event this…
Due to budget cuts, the Denver Parks and Recreation Department is selling out finding “collaborators” to run the city’s unprofitable rec centers… Luminous Electronics Recycling CEO Steve Fuelberth (pictured above) is currently negotiating with the city to operate the Johnson Rec Center, and will serve at-risk youth with classes in…
Is there any better way to allude to the tremendous muscle of this turquoise Monte Carlo than with a custom back-panel paint job of smoke coming off of the tires? Yes, there is — by including the images of the three cereal-selling elves amongst the whispy air-brushed plumes. This street…
Westminster Windskipper Real Name: Laurie Brandt Occupation: Renaissance Woman Suburb of Operations: Westminster Hair: Windblown Eyes: Wide Open Suburban superhero skills: Shortly after inadvertently swallowing a small insect while touring Westminster’s Butterfly Pavilion, Laurie Brandt was transformed into Westy Windskipper. She possesses the normal human strength for a woman of…
While many of America’s celebrities announce their Arizona boycott plans, Colorado’s most famous performer is preparing a big show of support. Inspired by the new immigration law passed by the Arizona state legislature, Tom Tancredo is getting the band back together…
The anti-incumbent mood of last weekend’s state Republican Assembly may spread to this weekend’s wedding of party chairman Dick Wadhams to Wendy Evans… As seen above, Evergreen businessman Dan Maes, who cultivated Tea Party support to gain top gubernatorial primary ballot placement, will no doubt score another shocking upset when…
While Sex and the City 2 opens in theaters today, Denver’s own never-ending dating drama continues to be played out by dummies in the downtown window of Diamond Lil’s. Much like the movie, the mannequin ménage à trois depends on changing outfits and modeling positions to market sex and the…
Golden Grillzilla Real Name: Michael C. Bestor Occupation: City Manager Suburb of Operations: Golden, Colorado and sometimes Veliko Turnovo, Bulgaria Hair: Extensive Eyes: Telescopic vision Known superhero skills: Golden Grillzilla can endow himself with Class 100 coordination, enabling him direct responsibility for all of the facilities, services and the overall…
The study of neighbors through their lawn decorations… Figure 64. Fort Logan: An eagle-eyed watch over a tiny gravestone dedicated to those who gave. At Fort Logan National Cemetery, veterans, Boy Scouts, Auxillary wives and Senator Michael Bennet will observe this weekend’s Memorial Day ceremony with an hour’s worth of…
The cover photo for the album pictured above was taken just before Ken Buck and Jane Norton started their 2010 Senate campaigns. Back in 2009, they were two peas in the same conservative pod. The guy from Greeley and the gal from Grand Junction were dubbed the “Duo of Disenchantment”…
Many teachers could keep themselves out of the news (as former Broomfield High staffer Travis Masse failed to do) by following these simple teacher-student dating guidelines… Tip #1: Don’t be secretive. Secrets will only get you into trouble, and the lies will only complicate your other relationships. Be open and…
Had the truck in the photograph above not been in motion, I would have asked the driver about the Star of David and the squirrel. These are not the kind of window stickers that a person carefully places onto their car if they don’t want to explain them. So I…
